Hi Tessa, thank you for stopping by, and I'm glad my posts were helpful to you.
I was thinking last night and earlier today, that for my sitch to turn around is truely miraculous, and proof positive that DBing DOES work...
It's painful to think back to how BAD things were between H and I this time 2 years ago. he was so far gone in the throes of ow that he couldnt even stand to be in the same house w/the kids and I. Disgust and disdain and resentment reeked from every pore in his body, his face was set with hard stoney look. The emotional climate was so COLD it was like icicles in the air...It's hard to describe, but I mean that literally. I remember coming home late from work one night, and H and S were gone (later I found out they were at ow's, he told me they were looking at video games), and I remember walking in that cold empty house and thinking that it felt cold and frozen and dead, I remember the thought entered my head that the devil had a grip on the house.
That was BEFORE I found out about the A, and it went down hill for a while after that. Although H never did move out physically, he was packed, gone and locked up tight emotionally.
I've been here on the boards a long time, it seems, I think I first posted in December '03. what a long and twisting journey it has been. I really believe if DB could work in my sitch, it can surely work in most.
I guess one thing we had going for us was that WAY BACK WHEN, many moons ago, things had been really great between us, and I think both of us still longed for that underneath all the pain and distance. We just somehow grew apart and took each other for granted from the strain of everyday life. If the relationship had always been difficult and conflicted, the outcome might have been much different, much more difficult to achieve, I'm sure.
I dont' have the nerve to read back through my old threads yet, but if you decide to, you will certainly find an incredible amount of angst and agony and despair. I'm afraid my PMA and "act as if" skills sometimes hit the gutter. but it's all there, in gory detail. I don't even have clue how many threads I have, I'm guessing 25 or so????? I'm surprised I havent gotten carpal tunnel syndrome
