Hi Hope...I keep thinking, as you and dfb say, that a lot of H's sex problems have to be emotional...guilt, grief, anger???? i'm not sure...but that has to be a lot of it because there is no way I will ever believe he wasnt having a good time in the recent past. however, as I mentioned earlier, he had no problem on Saturday morning.
I have wondered a million times how H could be interested in ow, and what he could see in her...and how he could not see through her manipulations...and, as you say, how he could not see that she saw him as a meal ticket. which she did, BIG TIME. ha, what a disapoint that would have been for her, happy meals I guess maybe! However, I did come across an email from H to ow in which he was lamenting to her that he wished he would/could ever be more than a paycheck. Hmmmm, that was this spring, march or april, about a year after the time when he was lamenting the same darn thing with me.
Quote: An interesting thing I read on the family.org website where the H talked about being under stress in the M and never having learned how his needs should be met while growing up he looked elsewhere for comfort. This happened in my sitch, don't know that it would be true for you. I also think my H did not get a lot of his needs met growing up and looked to s@x etc. to comfort him.
Actually I think you hit the nail on the head here. I know this is exactly what happened with H....and he is so depleted from never having that affirmation, I think he was really crippled emotionally, but he learned to cover up his emotional "emptiness" so well with his brave "macho" front, that I never understood, so was really no help. His parents were/are so demanding, judgemental and overbearing, this was pointed out to me AGAIN this weekend, which I'll post about in a minute, but it just helped to clarify more for me how we fell into this quagmire. i guess that's good, because figuring out the path that led you into it will help in seeing a different path to steer clear, right?????
