I'm afraid I will jinx myself if i say it's for real this time, but I'm beginning to believe it is. I can't imagine him going back to her after all this, and all he's shared.
When I got home last night a little after 8 H was in the house, said he'd just got back from going for a walk. then H started talking....no prompting from me, although I may have said "I guess you didnt get any hateful phone calls this evening"(thought it, don't recall if I said it)...
H commented "I have so much anger, and I have to let it go, I want to let it go, but it's kind of "stuck" right now. Talked again about her fit throwing and meanness, how she will draw a person (guy) in and then beat them up emotionally.
talked about having told her no more dramatic tearful reunions, they are done, it is over...now he sees that she uses the "lets be friends" deal to keep the hook set so she can reel him back in.
H talked about her sexual escapades (ulp!) commented that she was "obviously very accomplished"...I've drawn the line at this before, but it wasn't going into detail, and I was ok with it.
She cheated on her H the whole time they were married, (gosh, imagine that),although H never got the details. Evidently her H, when they were married, even tried to get info from her gynocologist by calling and saying "ow didnt quite understand what you told her yesterday"...she was/is very into internet sex...h said she couldnt seem to recall if she met up with most of those guys or not ?????...but she did hook up with a trucker she met in the cybersex activities while she was still living out of state. Who then went back on the road to stay.
That she still has cybersex...ummmm, I guess this is done with a web cam and microphone....gives me the creeps.... that she had sex in an elevator with a guy she never even met at a workshop/conference; had sex (and I mean intercourse) with her x-livein bf driving down the interstate at 70 miles/hour...I told H I can't imagine how you could do that...he said "very carefully" and i told him I didnt want to know the rest...
This is not a poor innocent, broken hearted divorced single mom looking for love, who happened to stumble into an a with a guy who happened to be married. this woman is a sexual predator herself, more of a sicko than i ever imagined.
H told me more stuff, I'm so shell shocked i can't even recall it right now. oh, also that sex is 'going through the motions" for her....I didnt go there much, told him I couldnt hear that at this point.
H said she got married in the first place because it "seemed like the thing to do", threw a big fit on her wedding day and refused to participate in some parts of the celebration because she was mad about something. That her divorce never bothered her.
H said when he met her xh at xmas, he shook his hand and gave him a "good luck sucker" look. That ow had bought her D 2 trumpets and wanted her xh to pay 1/2, and he commented he wasnt paying a nickel, since "we all know where the first one came from"...it was our D's, H "loaned" it to her...at least he did get it back.
I mentioned that the rosaries and crosses were gone off of her rear-view mirror; H said those were things he gave her (explains the teddy bear after all, doesnt it?)
Yesterday I saw the older nurse who is her office mate, and she gave me this penetrating look that spoke volumes...I asked H how much she knows, and he said he didnt know, but he's sure she knows a lot...that she knew about the a because she saw ow sending emails; said that she has never said a word, but seems so warm and friendly to him and concerned this week, he's sure she knows a break up happened and is glad. That Tuesday she gave him a "it's going to be ok" hug in the break room, which she has never done (this woman is almost our mothers' ages). H said that several other women..including the ow's supervisor, ow's scheduling secretary and the secretarys sister who works here, and another support staff person who evidently got ow in trouble by ratting on her for hanging out in H's office...all seem particularly pleasant and caring towards H....and that he gets the feeling they are GLAD it happened (the break up), and that they've been wanting it to happen, for him to get away from ow. H's comment was that "it's like they all knew about the A, and now they know about the break up, and are relieved"...duhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I told him everybody knew, I could just "feel" it.........plus i think ow gets a lot of "jollies" out of dropping hints, etc., and women arent dumb about that kind of "vibe"...
H talked about how ow was always flirting with a couple of other male co-workers here, one of whom has left.
We talked for about 2 hours. H had said just before he started that he was going to go downstairs and lift weights, but he never went, just sat and talked. He drank about 3 beers as we talked (ales, actually) and I think he had maybe 2 before that.
When we went to bed, H initiated again, and had his "finishing" problem again...this concerns me, but I am thinking that although I'm sure kegel's are needed and would benefit us both, this is also related to his emotional turmoil and his intake of alcohol; possibly allergy meds he's taking and the fact that he hasnt slept for 3-4 nights now.
I am just amazed at ow....she is really a number. this is incredible. I'm guessing I'm probably forgetting about 1/3 of all the stuff H told me also. wow.
One thing is for sure. she'd have been cheating on H if he had gone with her, I have no doubt. I don't think she's capable of being any other way.
