Not a lot happened last night or this morning.

I worked out and got home after H; we just chit-chatted a bit. I did mention that the yellow teddy bear was gone from ow's dash....and we had a bit of discussion about that....H said "I may have been guilty, I might have given her that a year ago for valentines day...I did give her a "teddy bear thing" uh, yeah right, and I'll bet it was this year, since that's exactly when it showed up on her dash and the b---h started parking next to me. but, oh well. He's talking about this stuff! becoming more transparent! that has to be a bigger-than-baby step! then he said "I think it's kinda like your voodoo doll being thrown out"...I told him that had to be good. Then H commented that there had been 3 figures on her dash....and that it represented "the family" . Evidently the bear was H; there was a lamb for ow's D (I do kinda recall seeing that) and a beanie baby razor back hog (college mascott) for ow.....ok, that's weird enough for me. I was thinking this morning, the woman is darned near psychotic, but then arent most of them?

H told me that she bought him all kinds of religious gifts, almost everything she gave him was from a christian bookstore here in town, that he has all kinds of crosses. Then she gave him a gift certificate to an "adult novelty" store for his b-day. that he gave it back to her, saying "that's not some place I would go"...that she gave him a mouse pad that played his grad school "fight song", and he told her to take it back, he didnt want it. ...

then he commented "I don't want to talk about this all night, I'm going for a walk"....I told him I didnt either, to go walk and have a good one, I was going to water flowers. He walked, then went to sleep watching tv, and went to bed about 9:30.

He still didnt sleep very well, although I think better than he has for several nights. I did hear him get up in the night, and then heard him making those weird little whimpering sounds...then in a tiny voice, almost like a little kid, he said "would you hold me? it helps me sleep"...i told him "sure" and "spooned" him, went to sleep myself then....

This morning he seemed more cheerful. I hope that's good....
He came up behind me in the kitchen and gave me one of the "gropping from behind" hugs that used to make me nuts...this time I hugged back, and reciprocated.and he made suggestions about things we might have time for this weekend . i added a few ideas.

I did get an email from him about 20 minutes ago, it was short, said that "life" wasnt getting any better for a person we know that he visited with, but that "I'm sure glad it's better for us, and I love you so much!"....I sent a kinda flirty one back, and now got one joking that he'd had word that I was doing "naughty things", that ended with "I love you too!"....so, still some steps in the right direction, if I just let myself see them.

Note to self: NOW would seem to be the time when flirting and some "teasing" would work with H.....maybe NOW is the time to go for it....

been around awhile!