At noon I got this email from H... "I’m glad you love me and I’m glad we are talking about such things now, we never talked about our feelings before, and so we are already doing some things differently. I am so glad that you are a steady person, not emotionally all over the place and that you are rational, I just don’t deal with irrational bull headedness well at all. I figure we learned a lot in the past 2 years both of us that can make the next 20 plus great ones. So relax and enjoy!"
I find this encouraging. Slowly I am beginning to let myself believe that he is renewing his commitment to our M...soon we can move forward. WN, I know you're right about setting boundaries in the discussions. I don't think "fun" is exactly the right term to describe how it feels to hear about the A, or even ow's faults, but it is helpful from the standpoint of learning about needs, contributing factors, etc., just tough to hear. Frankly, it is new behavior that h and I are just learning to share and talk about this stuff with each other, so that makes it even tougher.
the weight is hard for me. I hate it myself. at first I lost easily, but I think maybe I lost too much too quickly, and now i'm really stuck. I'm working out regularly, losing inches, but the weight is still there, and I'm still "flabby". ick. but you're right about drawing the line. I have to say h usually is supportive, encouraging me to keep going with working out and that "it will come"...it's when things get emotional that it "slips"...
Mollie, I know kids are no excuse for not doing stuff, that we NEED to do things together (actually only S12 is home now) but I can't get H to leave the place other than for vacation. honestly, this was going on for years before the A...he literally became a hermit. I chalked it up to depression, and tried to live with it, but it is like pulling hens teeth to get him to do anything. Even taking walks together every now and then is a babystep in my eyes. Him even mentioning the possibility of doing things is a babystep, even when he says he isnt ready to yet. I view the fact that he's CONSIDERING it as a baby step.
I'm still working on GAL...working out, shopping(unfortunately) redecorating, planning to get a bike still...maybe trying some weight watchers meetings (for me!)looking for new hairstyles...time for a change there...
