A couple of things: remember, you are the safe place, you want to be the happy, cheerful person he comes home to. Act as if! Cry when he isn't around. When he is telling you how much fun they had together and doesn't know if you two can do that, don't defend yourself, validate! This is the perfect opportunity to be on his side. You may not agree with him but this is how he thinks right now so go with it. Just nod your head if you have to. Eventually his thinking will change but not as long as you are telling him you don't agree or that he is wrong, because he will be the defensive one and continue trying to make a point. You can't be against him right now.
You need a counselor to talk this through with, Deb. It is too much to do on your own and he can't be the therapist.
Where is your GAL? What are you doing for you? What fun things did you two do when you were happy together that you don't do now. Don't use the kids as an excuse to not get out and do something. You must have time with your H without kids. There are babysitters out there. Grandparents? What are your goals? What can you do to reach the goals. Get your DR book out and keep reading. Get the tapes/CDs. Keep all the DB info fresh in your mind. Keep reminding yourself. Do fun stuff without him. If you are having a good time, chances are he will want to join you.
He's telling you over and over you don't have to worry, so please work on that. I know it is hard. I still do it too, but I find other outlets for my anxiety rather than try to get him to reassure me. You are going to make the work, Deb!
