yes, dfb, I know you're right...I need to do what I do to make myself happier...and actually I am, I dont like being so heavy, I never was, was actually a really skinny kid! I have joined a fitness center, and go about 3x/week, although May was a wash-out because of being laid up for a while from surgery, and I had a tough time this winter with so much illness. I've thought of upping it to 5X week, or trying to anyway, but they tell me that may be too much. I used to walk a lot....am slowly getting back into it a bit....and yes, I plan to get a bike. that's what I should have bought yesterday, it would have been cheaper! so, it is for me, not just for H.
H has said that a major factor that drew him to ow was her childlike enthusiasim for stuff...claims the poor thing never had a vacation, etc., and that she'd just get SO EXCITED about things, and it made him feel good that he was doing something new for someone who never had it...?????....also her D, that she reminded him of our D when she was little, and he enjoyed reading her the same stories, etc.,..... Plus I suspect ow knows stuff about sex that frankly I don't. There, I said it. Guess I should have slept around more.
So, I don't know. I was reading "after the affair" by Janis Spring at lunch, and there was a point that kind of jumped out at me, which was that often what we dislike most about our partners, is something that was an issue or is still unresolved from an earlier time in our own lives. H's parents are REALLY into people being thin. I mean REALLY. His oldest sister is only a year younger than we are, and has had bulimia, untreated, for years. It is a mess... H has talked about how he was made fun of for being the "fat boy" when he was a kid, and how he worked and worked to reshape his body. hmmmmmmmmmm, now what was that attribute of mine he was complaining about?????
However in all honesty, I DO need to lose weight. I really still am heavy. just interesting to me, that seems to help explain why this could be such a huge issue with H, at least in part.
When I left yesterday, I just left. didnt leave a note of any kind, just left. went onto auto pilot, did what I had decided the week before I would do, just got in the car and left. I probably should have been considerate enough to leave a note.
Hope you're feeling better. Sorry to hear you've been ill.
