I'm thinking about ow's emotionality still. I thought I might jot down something H told me last week when we were talking that I don't think I ever mentioned. H said how she would fight and argue to "the death" over things that he had absolutely no control over, and that it drove him crazy and wore him out. That he would actually spend a great deal of time before he "went down there" to be with her preparing for the visit, anticipating how he could respond, what he could say, to try to prevent fights and arguments. but to no avail.
I asked for an example and he gave this one: one time when he went, ow met him at the door screaming in a rage because her ex-live-in bf had the woman he kicked out when he moved ow in move BACK in with him (makes my head spin) and ow was PO'd about it. Yelled and screamed and raged at H about it, he claims for 3 weeks.
I wonder what on earth she thought H had to do with it or could do about it???????
I wonder how he EVER put up with that? I guess it explains some of his weird withdrawn stuff....
H said also that part of her rage came from not wanting him to leave, wanting him to "be there"...so in effect, she evidently did EXACTLY what people here advised me to let her do....and that she would do....drove him right back home with her raging demands. It took a long time, though. I don't know if it would have gone faster if I had been able to maintain a less anxious posture, or not.
