Hi Deb, I have to agree with Ellie, Mollie and dfb here. You really, REALLY need to find a way to get a grip on all of the anxiety you are producing within yourself. Next time your H goes out for a long walk (or long whatever!) you need to get in your car and go. I used to go to my local Barnes & Noble bookstore. I would purchase one of their wonderful cappucino's, pick a few books and sit and peruse them. I could use up hours doing this. Never had to spend much except for the cappucino and the little bit of gas it took to get there. If you have money to spend, grab a girlfriend and go shopping. (I found it was always more fun to bring a girlfriend along .. they gave me new perspective on the type of clothing I would purchase for myself .. which was a very good thing!) .. And then indulge yourself in a leisurely lunch, several afternoon cocktails and visiting with your good friend(s) .. and you WILL end up having a nice day! You definitely don't want to sit at home and worry and work yourself up. Have you checked into those antidepressants/anxiety meds? As I mentioned before, they truly helped keep me on an even keel.
Next weekend .. or even a week night, you should just tell your H that you are going to go out to eat and then out for a few drinks afterwards. The scenery change will more than likely do wonders for the both of you. Don't just sit at home! Like Ellie said .. there's lots to do out there. Find something that you'll both like and do it. You may have to nudge your H the first time, but after he sees what fun it is and what fun you are when you are out and about, I'll bet he'll be more than happy to do it again real soon!
I know what the book you are reading right now says, but I'm thinking you need to really let up on the reassurance thing. It seems like he has been VERY willing to give you this AND talk about it with you. This was something the my H was NEVER willing to do. IMO I think your H really IS trying to pull himself together so that he can participate fully in your M relationship once again. As much as it hurts you to see him in "mourning" why not give him his time and use this time for you to finish your transformation/morphing? Instead of pestering him all of the time, why not continue on your GAL goals so that he can see without a doubt that he has made the right choice? I'm not saying that I can't understand how you are feeling Deb .. no way .. I've been there, done that and I know the pain! But I realized that unless I began to show my H how much I've changed and quit bringing up unpleasant OW conversations, I just might send him right back to OW.
Again .. just my opinions/suggestions based on my own experiences. You need to do what you feel is right for you ...
