I'm reading "after the affair"...hoping it may have some ideas on how to deal with the darned anxiety.......I hate it.
It says that you will have to ask straight out for the support you need, so I'm not sure how that fits in with what I need to do...I'm hoping we're really at the point where I can begin to do that. and the book says it offers suggestions. I hope to get to that part soon.
One thing I forgot to mention, sometime in the weekend, H mentioned wanting to get his weight machine set up, that it was "one more broken promise"...well, it is still in the box in the basement, BIL who was supposed to put it together reniged on the deal, and I can't do it by myself...I've mentioned/asked H if he wants to work on it several times, but he kinda wiffles and waffles, so I havnt pushed it. it occured to me this weekend that if it's still in the box, it's a lot easier for him to move....I know that sounds paranoid, but I swear that is how H's brain works....just like he said once he didnt want the "OnStar" in his vehicle activated because then he could be "tracked down"...I knew where he didnt want to be found, and I was right.
So, now he's talking about want to get the machine put up...I guess maybe that's good, because he's saying he needs it...but I don't know what to think of the "one more broken promise" comment, it kind of worries me....I guess still some anger there, some blame, obviously???? Replay, still?????
I managed to stay in neutral db mode, just said "yes, we need to make that a priority, I'll be glad to work on it with you this coming weekend if you want", which seemed to sort of "defuse" him, he almost started to waffle again, which does nothing to help my anxiety. Although maybe what looks like "waffling" was just the hot air of anger hissing out of him...................sigh....................who knows???????wish to heck I did, or had a clue..............
How long does this damnable grieving last?????anyone know????????????????? It trys my patience sorely that he is grieving this manipulative nasty conniving parasitic skank who has literally stolen so much from our family. Good God. and he goes back to that after he's begun to show glimpses of seeing her for what she is. Do they all go back and forth like that????????????????//
