oh, yeah, at one point I told H that I was so confused by his words and actions that seemed to not add up through all of this, and that is part of what made is so hard. for example that he would tell me he loved me and wasnt leaving and then get back with her....made me nuts. He said it was because he himself was so terribly confused. that he was a mess of confusion and fear and pain and guilt.
I mentioned when he was on vacation with her a year ago last fall, and would call me everynight from the cabin and talk with me for an hour, and tell me he loved me....did he mean that???? he said yes, he did mean it. That he'd promised me he'd call every day and he did. yes, he did....the phone calls meant way too much to me I'm afraid. But it turns out he was calling from the cabin, while she was in the cabin. Evidently she would shut herself in the bedroom and pitch a fit, he said she would pitch a fit for the rest of the night everynight (I guess that's scant good news) and that she threatened to leave and leave him there several times if he kept calling me. H commented "I kept thinking, oh this will be great to have to call home and say "I got left" (they took her vehicle). But how weird is that, he's talking to his wife telling her he loves her and doing it every night right in front of ow? I mean at least he had the decency to hide it from me when he was calling her. And then for ow to take it???? wouldnt you think she would just leave????? H commented once a long time ago that "it just didnt seem right for you not to be there (duh), we are such good friends and have had such good times there together all those years".
I dunno, it's still all pretty mind boggling. The guy's brain has truly been adled. Lord how I hope he's coming out of it.
