Hi Pamila and TC....yes, the balance of GAL is very difficult and tricky for me....very tough. I feel like I walk a thin line every day of trying to be caring and responsive and yet not overly clingy and whimpy...and as I was reading someones thread, the clinginess rears it's head when my insecurities are highest. and I hate it.
TC, you write:
Quote: I'm thinking that your H must not mind that you bring up OW .. from how you've written here how he responds to you. My H would get extremely irritated/upset if I ever brought up the "situation". I learned to stay completely away from any OW topics. Just be careful about bringing it up too often. I've been told (back then) that it feels like I was just using every opportunity that I could to throw it in his face.
I just realized this morning that this is another thing that is DIFFERENT now than in the past. Now H is patient with me, and I think makes an effort to be reassuring (although I'm terrible anxious, and in my opinion his efforts pale in contrast to the level of my anxieties. H no longer gets angry...he tells me to "stop having bad dreams" and "stop worrying", and that my asking is ok....in the past, he would BLOW UP, well not quite, but get very irritable and angry and walk away, if I said or asked anything at all about the a/ow...he instantly became angry...now, as I said, he is patient and calm and I think trying to be reassuring. I did have nightmares last night that he left with ow...mentioned it this morning, and that's when he said "well stop dreaming that"...I said (I know, dumb dumb move)"so you don't think you'll go back?" and his reply was "no I don't think I'll go back" yeeeesh, I gotta get past this....I know you're so right TC about bringing this up and beating him in the face with it. I told H I was sorry for being so anxious, and trying to work on it, but really struggling...he said "I know, and I understand the anxiety, but it is hard to deal with" but still, all that was said with no anger or animosity, and before he would never admit that there was any reason for me to be anxious, in fact he would pretty much blame it all on me...so, his patience is different. I don't know what it means, I'd be interested in what anyone else has seen/experience that's similar, or what their "take" might be.
In regards to the antidepressants:
Quote: I guess I never heard of just being on them a certain part of the month? Did I read that right?
Yes, that's right TC. That's evidently a pretty standard treatment currently for the emotional aspects of PMS (it has a new name now, but anyway)...and actually Prozac is the drug approved and marketed for the treatment in this manner. It's (Prozac) been renamed and re-targeted at a new market after the patent expired....It's now called "Sera-Fem" in it's new "guise" for use in this manner. My physician just prescribes good ole generic prozac, same dose and same schedule, rather than buying into the drug companies new money making schemes, so it costs me about 7 bucks a month instead of over 100. Actually it works quite well, and I feel more "leveled out" rather than "zoned out" when I take it that way, as I said it's just figuring out when the heck to take it anymore. maybe I just need a lower dose on a continual basis. I did try lexapro, one of the newest AD's, but I didnt think I did one bit better on it, it made me really sick to my stomach, and it's much more expensive.
I'll post about the weekend in a bit, not bad really, just weird still. H was home all weekend....Frankly, I think several months of not "doing" "Paperwork" on Saturdays would be the most helpful thing of all for me. On the other hand, I know that it is realistic that there will be sometimes when he does have to catch up on "overflow"....and it will be really tough to deal with.
