Quote: How can woman chase a married man...???? what kind of woman would do that?
The very very LOW kind - the filths of society. Those b&*ches, tarts, sl&ts etc etc.
But I think your H is showing great improvement. I mean spending time with you and your family, initiating get-togethers with friends...I think that is really a good sign. I mean although you don't have to FULLY trust him now, you can look the part. Perhaps you should strive to get an Oscar for your performance. And with time, I am sure trust will slowy come back into your relationship. For now, be happy, show that you DO trust him (although you may not be...) and continue with your DBing efforts. Time will only tell.....Patience, my dear, Patience!!
Thanks for your perspective!! I do need to remember patience that's for sure. I'm really trying to act like I do trust and like I'm very happy. Last night he had to run to work to finish up some things. Went after we ate dinner, did some yard work, and went for a swim. He said he would be gone 1/2 hour and he was. I use to think "oh no is he meeting her, is he calling her..." But I "stopped" those thoughts went upstairs and road the exercise bike and called my mom just to chat. I know in my heart he did not meet her because he had on really old sweat shorts and a old holey t-shirt - you know not impressive. But, maybe he did call her... I guess I will never know that. I am really trying to be nice and happy when he is around.
From your experiences do you think it is ok to be sexual with H, with all this going on? We have been really trying to rebuild that part of our R and we have come a long way in the past couple of months. Actually our love life so to speak is really become quite good. I just sometimes wonder if I should not be doing this. But, then in the past our love life was bad (for the past 2 years). I look back and I know I was not fulfilling his needs and maybe that made it easier for the EA to start. I would withhold s@x if we were fighting, which we did so often. It seems we are much more comfortable with each other lately and it seems like making luv is real.
I'm a little nervous because he is going out of town for work for a few days - not with OW. So that is not the problem, but I worry about him taking OW calls when he is alone at night. I know I need to GAL. I worry about it but I will not bring it up to him. I know he will call me and I will be postive with him - you know "how was your day, were you busy, etc.". But, it is hard to get the OW out of my mind. Don't men see womean who pursue married men as trash? I just can't imagine really loving someone like that...
Earlier this year when H said he decided to stay and did not want a D and did not want to leave we talked a little about the OW. He said "she does not hold a candle to you". Made me feel good, but I always have doubt of his truthfulness.
Thanks again for you words of encouragement. I would be interested in your views on my response. Thanks!!!
I am not one to tell you to withold s@x from H. We seemed to be at it more now than before the bomb. Don't know why. He initiated more now. Before, he was like trying to avoid me. As men cannot multi-task, perhaps when we ML, he concentrates on only that, and do not have the pain of remembering his break-up with the OW? I don't know, and I don't want to care either. As long as I am happy and comfortable doing it. I don't wanna care or think about the OW.
There is really no point is pondering if he is calling her, or seeing her, or yearning for her...cause you can't control it. At the end of the day, we just get miserable pondering it. Might as well just concentrate on something positive and nice. I know it is difficult. I should practice what I preach too....Still trying hard too...
