I reread parts of the books this weekend - thank you for suggesting it. Overall H and I had a good weekend. He felt bad about our argument on Thursday night and as soon as I saw him at lunch on Friday he wanted to make up and he said we should never go to bed mad. I told him I agreed. We spent the afternoon together Friday volunteering at our kids school. We had a nice time and then he took me golfing and out to dinner Friday night. Sometimes I think these are such good signs. We had a great day on Saturday to. We took our S to a ball game and all 3 of us had fun. Sunday we had friends over all day and it was just really nice. He took no phone calls on Sunday so that made it even better I did not worry about his cell phone. I just know she is calling him. I think he might be staring to make the move not the take the calls. He did tell me he is pushing her into voice mail. But, I didn't ask anymore questions. I wanted to ask well do you call her back? But, I did not do that. I just feel like I need to know. This has been going on for 6 months. I thought we were working it out until I learn about their calls. That really bugs me. How do I get over that? These I are the things that go thru my mind. In January and Feb they talked each month 600 to 700 minutes. In March and April around 160 minutes, this last bill for May was down to 110 minutes. So I think it is moving in the right direction, but why do I feel the need to know all this? How can I get over it. Even this weekend we had a great time, but I did end up checking his messages on Sunday late, and he called him. It was another "Hi it's me just calling to say HI". But, I will admit it felt good to hear that her voice sounded a little different, almost like why aren't you calling me. Maybe I'm reading into it or wantint to read into it, but I really think she sounded different and it made me feel good - like "ha ha". Get the hint go away he is with his family. I know I need to quit snooping, but I'm finding it hard. I never mentioned the message to H and I did nto erase it - never do that. But, it did make be feel more compelled to be super sweet and super nice the rest of the day. Is that strange or what?
Sometimes I think and I know I'm making the wrong moves. today will be hard he is back to work for the week and she is there. How long do these types of things take to end when he has to work with her and see her everyday? Won't this really make our chances harder to get it all back? Does she need to be completely out to the picture? Sometimes based on what I've seen on the phone bill )I know I should not look), but it really looks like she is pursuing him. Will this make it harder for me? Will H ever just get sick of her and tell her to go away? How will I know the bond is broken? If any of you have been thru this please let me know what you think. I greatly apprectiate it. I just feel he loves me, he says he does, he told me he is in this for the long haul. Help. Thanks!!!!!
