About 4 months ago my H kissed his secretary when he was drunk, I caught them. To make a long story short the first 2 months we just a mess. I have forgiven him because I was not the best W. We did have issues - I was controlling, we had no intimacy, we fought a lot, etc. etc. But, I decdided I want this marriage and took this as a wake up call, my H did to. My issue is things are actually pretty good between us, we are getting along - past 2 months - better than ever. The intimacy has returned, the caring has returned, we are not arguing we are applying alot of the principles we have read about in the books. My issue is he works with her and see her everyday. That is hard for me, but I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the after hour cell phone calls. Now for the first 2 months after the kiss the cell phone calls were huge. For the past 2 months they continue to go down, but they still talk. I did notice that on the last bill dated May 27th, he did nto talk to her on the 23th, 24th, 25th, 26th, or 27th. So that is good. But, she is calling him. He even admitted that, but he says it is cuz she has work questions. I don't beleive that, she never use to call before the kiss. I have forgiven him but each time she call or each time I see the cell phone bill I feel like I go right back to the night of the kiss. He does not understand that. He says he is here for the long haul and that I have nothing to worry about. He says he loves me, he is home every night, he is sleeping with me, he is not with her. He says it was one dumb drunk kiss. Fine - but I think she is pursuing him. I think he kind of likes that - it's a little flattering for him. What do I do? I have asked him to tell her to quit calling unless it it work related. Is that ok to do? I know it is not all work related, he says he is now pushing her into voicemail and not returning calls that are not work related. I just am so unsure. I even listened to a few of her voicemails because I know how to get into it and this is what one said 2 days ago "Hi it's me just called to say HI" and this was at like 10pm at night. H did not take the call, but this pisses me off. Another one said "just calling to see if you are ok" - this was about one month ago. Another one said "did you zap me into voice mail, I will call you later" this was one week ago around 10pm. Again not work related. What do I do, how do I get over this? Do you think he really wants to work things out with me? He is home everyday, and we are going out at least once a week and having a nice time, we are doing things as a family with our kids, and we are getting along great. This is the only issue. Help!
