I'm not sure I agree that a SSM is necessarily abusive. There are many variables that can go into an SSM, sure some of them "could" be abusive, but I think that would have to go on a case-by-case scenario.
I know, I'm not in an abusive situation...what my H and I are experiencing has quite a bit to do with conditioning he received from what I would call abusive situations, mentally abusive situations. But in my situation I would find it impossible to call it abusive, primarily due to the fact that my H was clueless to what he was doing for the longest time, it wasn't intentional. Perhaps for me that's the line, I see abuse as an intentional thing...I know for me, in the past when I have been in an abusive situation the person being abusive was VERY aware of what they were doing.
Now, lets say for a moment that hypothetically my H was intentionally withholding affection & sex from me...that, I would consider abusive and manipulating....and for me, that'd be a whole different situation that I'd be dealing with.
