Quote: I had this awfull thought that one day BB will ask me for some physical contact and I won't be interested. I will say "You were not that interested for X years" and now I'm not interested either" and for all of the rejection has built up to a point I don't want to be any where near you now." "Why couldn't you do this 20 years ago?"
Its rough. H showed up the other night in his underwear. It was very awkward. I was trying to be "corgial" and not carry my baggage with me. I had just had surgery dn there. I did enjoy the snuggles. I had been chastised for moving too fast back in 2000 so I didnt advance even a kiss. I have no idea what H thought. H didn't spend the night naming his back.
I still have baggage...tons of it...I don't know where to put it. Its so hard to say "that's ok" when it is far from it. But its a start. Let's see what happens this week.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
