HP, I can't answer that one scientifically or by medical research but can say for myself "it" is not as hard, as long after climaxing. Also sometimes things like sneezes, gas, and putdowns seem to interfear with arrousal more than they did before. The good part is I can go longer without thinking about putting the hockey puck in the net IYKWIM. But I heard some women just want to get over with. Very confusing at times. I know it is an individual preference. Yes, ask, see what the SO likes. (see side note below)
I still have all of the mental interests and desires but after so long of being frustrated with the money and sexual aspect of our M, and age, sometimes I am concerned that ED will happen to me I lose interest for a short time. The loss of interest intervals happen more and last longer.
I had this awfull thought that one day BB will ask me for some physical contact and I won't be interested. I will say "You were not that interested for X years" and now I'm not interested either" and for all of the rejection has built up to a point I don't want to be any where near you now." "Why couldn't you do this 20 years ago?"
IRL I am still trying things and I push for talks. It is difficult being the R police, moderating both sides so they are fair. But I am not as sex starved as some others here on SSM. So don't think I am completely ignored.
BB does try to meet my needs and I know with what she has gone through there are practical limitations. I try to meet BB's needs (5LL) the way she likes them. It just seems too many things have gotten so many extra requirements attached to what BB wants or needs, it is dampening my ability to find workable solutions to our differences.
I have a much older sister that gets up around 7AM cooks her breakfast her special things and way till 9:30, cleans up very little, disconnects the phone, takes a 11AM nap to about 2PM, has a bite to eat, does little else around the house, cooks her special things her special way for supper. (Won't eat at some restruants, food is not good enough, hot enough, too this too that). I like her but get so frustrated at all of her picky behavior, that I usually just talk to her on the phone. While I am out shoveling snow around 35 degrees in a long sleved shirt, my sister is complaining she is cold with the heat up to 75 inside. Sometimes fear BB is becoming like my sister in some ways.
I mentioned the sister mostly not to say BB is like my sister, but that I get anxious thinking things might get like that. It's more me than BB. I do empathise with BB's feelings and condition but I don't see why some people have to have so many things just so so.
Quote: We talk quite frequency about how we'll be horny old people. He'll always be my husband and attractive to me. If we slow down due to physical infirmities, that's fine,
That sounds like a good attitude HP. I would be OK with your and MR HP's attitude. I watched several TV programs (couples in their 70's with medical and ED problems) about adaptive things and attitudes, sexually active couples employ to have sex and ML.
Like other slightly HDH with LDW here, I suppose the other LDW told their HDH, "You'r too old to be doing it that that often." "Why don't you act your age." Ot "I lost those feelings" I can see where BB is coming from but I still feel the desire. Too bad, once compatable people become so miss matched.
Sometimes I wonder if the LD people would be matched up, like in the TV series "Wife Swap" OR "Vacation Swap" would they be any happier? Just for kicks I would like to see Mr JJ and Mrs BB duke it out because some food was not to the others liking or they both want their food brought to the living room so they could watch TV and eat. Yes, I am being a smart A$$ a little. (Maybe I should have asked JJ if she would loan her H for this experiment while JJ was enjoying her book trip to Chicago)
I think if the HD people got together for 2 weeks You would not see much of them that you could show on TV. But then again, that only implies the physical/animal aspect of sex drive, but ignores the more important emotional connection some people feel for their married spouse. Sex and love go together in such a way that nothing else can truely take it's place. Some people try drugs, boose, shopping and ?????.
side note (I saw one TV program where the women were talking about cuddling after sex. Most liked to cuddle. One woman said she likes to get up almost right away, rinse off, pee if she has to, and then wants the guy to get out of her bedroom. Her moto was ,"F me good, then leave me alone.")
Yes, I am being a smart A$$ a little. 
But then again, that only implies the physical/animal aspect of sex drive, but ignores the more important emotional connection some people feel for their married spouse. Sex and love go together in such a way that nothing else can truely take it's place. Some people try drugs, boose, shopping and ?????. 
