Okay... I DEFINITELY like name #3 the best! Let's stick with this new one! Thanks for the comment that you were glad to see I got some "action" this weekend. I guess you could say I "got a life" Friday night with my hottie male friend... Let's just hope I don't start obsessing about him the way I have unfortunately been doing lately with my H! But, thanks for the "well done, girl!" comment... Hope you are having a good night, Kim! (GREAT name by the way! Are you "Kim" or "Kimberly"??) Take Care! -OC Kim
OCKim - I am Kim not Kimberley so that we have different my middle name is Marie and you???? Hey Angel - just had a lightbulb moment myself I get your point now - I think what you are saying is we go on and on about something that could have been said in fewer words....Got it.....When i self analyze this I think I do it because I don't wish to be taken the wrong way so I make sure i cover all bases when I am really just being longwinded I guess.....Thanks for that insight but it is probably too late with H now as I meant it when I said I am not contacting him and am not interested in conversations with him unless he chooses son's needs over OW's.....KDU
Hey Kim - I think I would have reacted the same way as you did with your H. I don't think that if he has chosen OW over us, I would be able to be "Friends" with him. I told H that for visitation with sons, he would text me and I would text back. And that would be it. I really really don't think I would want to know about H's life or whatever. It would be STRICTLY business! So, although not exactly DBING, I can understand why you went this route.
What is up with our H's here lately. It seems as though we all are going through a similar sitch where we have to detach all together. I don't know if you read my thread lately but I feel that I have been taken advantage of by my H with some of the DBing techniques. Don't get my wrong I think DBing is great, but it's not my character (being way too nice to H and his A). So I've decided to put my foot down with H and let him know that I no longer want him back and he needs to pick up the rest of his things and leave my house key. But I'm like you, I would love for H to come back home and work on our M but it would have to be on my terms this time. As you said, they've made the decision to walk-out on our M and be with OW so they need to live with that decision.
I'm coming up the moutain with you other sister goddesses!!
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Kim - Somehow, I have this feeling that your H will come running back after you in time. Just go dark and keep to your Friday evening pick-up routine. Don't let-on any info about your life to H. When your paths do cross, you have to happy and cheerful and let him know what he has missed. Now, he has gone "steady" with OW, there would be great expectations and pressure from OW's side, and soon, when H starts wanting to be his own man, he will start feeling OW is not that great after-all. Be patient and strong!!
Oh - and when H comes to pick up S on those Fridays? Be all dressed up sexy for a date, come out the door with S and hop into your car as if you are heading out on a date while S gets into H's car. Trust me on this one. Do it EVERY Friday, even if you just end up driving around the block and coming back home.
KDU - Love the name change... men love the Aussie women. Although, in Australia I guess you're just considered "women".
I agree with going dark. It's time for him to experience some consequences. It sounds like he's pretty easily led, so he'll be seeking out reassurances from you pretty quickly.
Hey Anna & Yoyo I hope you are both right and he does come seeking me out but I can't control that only he can so I will worry about it when and if it happens. Anna he is easily led at the moment as he said he didn't want this but had to prove to her he can be trusted and the rest you know from my update what a load of crap. Anyway my point to that is he seems to have lost his balls and I think she found them and now has a double set the nerve of her...... KDK - Come on up we're all on our feet climbing at the moment as most of us had backslides to varying degree's over the last week, so come join the climb I can't wait till we all get to the top..... Ellie - Love that idea, although he is picking son up at 5.45pm and I work until 5.00 and then pick up son and get home about 5.35 - I guess I could run in throw on my robe, pile on makeup and throw hair up in a clip so it looks like I am getting ready to go out and wave son goodbye from the porch or lounge window so H see's me holding the mascara and I could tell son I am going out (as even if it is to the shops later I would not be lying) as H would ask him. Yep I think I will do that....... Hey guys what do I do if he comes to get son on Friday and wants to have a coffee like he normally does???? I can't say I am in a rush as then I would have to say that every week and given what has gone on I really feel it should be No that's not a good idea, when your not allowed to spend time with me - or is that sarcastic or no I don't want to do the friend thing anymore - or do I ask him why was there something you want to discuss. I am open to suggestions as I am really pi$$ed that he chose her over our son so what would you say I do if that happens????? Oh and son wanted to ring H this morning as it is H's birthday and I said to son look how about we text message him instead as he might be asleep as he worked last night. Son agreed to this so we sent him a message saying Happy Birthday from Matthew he wanted to say it and we wish you the same and that's it nothing else. That way nobody had to talk to him but it was still acknowledged and I couldn't say no to son.....
I think do the "I am sorry...I am getting to go out" tag for a few Fridays (at least 2 Fridays in a row), and then see how things go from there. Don't rush into saying "Don't want to be friend" tag. I think after the 2 week "BUSY" tag, then if he asks, then use the "Is there something in particular that you want to discuss?". Don't mention anything about OW not giving him PERMISSION to talk to you. Well..just my terrible 2 cents worth...
But, thanks for the "well done, girl!" comment... Hope you are having a good night, Kim!