Hey Kim, I was meaning (and maybe i didn't get it across right)you tell H something and then give him the reason why you've made the decision. H says a few more words...(never explaining anything back) You then tell H another point, and why you are thinking or feeling this. H responds with 4-5 more words and so on and so on. Instead of us just saying "ok we need a schedule, you pick up S on Friday at 5:45 and bring him home sat at whatever time is good for you" We say" we need to set up a schedule to pick up S because OW has now had her input into sitch and i never thought we would go this way...remain friends..but now...so on and so on."
What i was meaning is that we talk too much and give them too much info and they say their little bit and move on to listening (pretending to listen?)to our long drawn out explanations for why we are making our decisions...and they go onto auto pilot.
I dont know if i am making sense to you but as Oprah says "i just had a light bulb moment!!!" thanks to you.
I understand what you are saying and good luck....you are strong and will make it through all this.
