Yeah thanks Yoyo - I actually did the wrong thing and rang him b4 as I needed to know what to tell S9. He said just tell him I will pick him up in the morning b4 you go to work. I said O.K. and he then started talking and said look I am really not very good company at the moment and need a night to myself as OW wants nothing to do with me(boohoo) I said well I can understand that but really there was no need to take it out on me and he said I know but it really doesn't matter anymore she is gone. I said I realise that but it hurts me when i get the blame for something that I had nothing to do with. He said yeah o.k. or something like that not much anyway I said H remember I do know how it feels and he said I know you do so you should understand how I feel at the moment. I said as hard as it is for me I do but at least no kids are involved and it hasn't been 12yrs. (I know but I couldn't help it) Anyway I then said look I will let you go and will see you in the morning but don't do anything stupid as you have a son who idealises you. He said yeah I know I will keep thinking of that. I said O.K. I am at home if you need me. He said thanks and that was that. I really felt like saying to him suffer now you know what it feels like but I cannot deprive my son of his father and I try to keep the peace for sons sake. This made me feel like crap though as all this hurt for a woman he has been with for a few weeks properly and just been shagging for the rest of the time and behind my back. I tried to do some DBing but my god was it hard. Anyway now I don't know whether I act sympathetic or indifferent????? I hate that I still love him it would be so much easier if I didn't.....DKD
Sixes and Sevens - Let me in on the joke don't get it.....O.K. guys check in on you all tomorrow after you all have your fun overnight (hate the time difference) but hey I will have plenty of comments tomorrow. See ya all have a great night...DKD
Cheer up go back to my posts and read cause i've just been there and done that . Know exactly all the feelings you are having too. So get some comfort in knowing you are not ALONE we are here for you.
It's hard but my H OW took him back cause he's smooth and gets what he wants. I have really found that just by smiling everytime we talk and seeming much more positive in as many convos as i can (trust me i have been on the backslide too lately) he is noticing something is different. Everytime i have to talk to him re kids i say good morning or afternoon instead of just hi and i always end the conversation with I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND NITE. He's even been responding with you too (kind of sarcastically) and i say thanks or if it's all done in text i dont reply and let him have the last word(180 for me a huge one) i seem like his beloved OW and i think i might just maybe have him thinking about things for at least a minute...but that's a minute more than before. I guess what i'm trying to say (but am oh so tired 1:53 am)is everytime he has tried to blame me for something these last couple of days and weeks i am meeting him with understanding which is confusing him to death and then he has no one to fight with except HER
Hope makes sense as i am extremely tired. Maybe my insomnia is going away a little tonight and i will get more than 3 hours of sleep.
Take care and keep your happy, understanding chin up mountain Goddess!!
Hey DKD... I notice you're in Melbourne. I actually have several friends in Melbourne because my BIL is from Tasmania - Launceston and Hobart and a lot of his family and friends came up here for the wedding and other visits. Prior to all this H and I talked about going to Australia with his evil sister and her H. If it ever happens, Melbourne will probably be our first stop... A lot of his friends and family have vacated Tas for Melbourne.
Sorry to hear how your H is being an a@@ right now. Is this where the WAS and the relationship with OP crashes and burns? Let's hope so in your case. Keep your chin up and like Yoyo says, lay low for awhile.
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Thanks everyone. Well he came this morning to pick up S9 and walked straight in the door and walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me and said I am really sorry for the way I treated you yesterday. I stood there and didn't really hug him back just tapped his back and moved away and said thankyou, I needed to hear that as I was and still am very upset and things you said. He said I know I didn't mean to say them I was just upset. I said fair enough it will take me some time but I will get over it. He then said look when I drop Mattie back in the morning we will have a cuppa and I said I don't know if that is such a good idea at the moment. He said well we will see when I get there in the morning. He is being sweet as pie but I am trying to keep my distance but also not have it that he see's it as me trying to make him pay. Its a hard balance.....That's about it for my latest, I think he is going to feel it this Tuesday though as it is his birthday and I have made a huge fuss on his birthday every year for 12 yrs as has my family and friends. This year he will be lucky to get a present or a card from anyone. I will buy him something small from S9 but that is it. Maybe he will realise what he has lost?????DKD
Sorry...I also do not get the "sixes and sevens" joke. Hope I am not that thick??
Kim - I guessed you really just need to lie low and be Dark. If H doesn't call you with regards to S, then just do as you would as if H will not pick S up. You can always make up stuff about dad being busy or whatever. Don't call him....let him do the calling first. If it takes 2 weeks, 3 weeks, let it be. Read it somewhere that when the R ends with the OP, the INTENSE period can last up to 3 weeks. So, be patient. Go busy yourself with your new home!
Hi Kim Wow what i wouldn't do to have my H wrap his arms around me and say he's sorry..mine just wraps his little fingers around his phone and texts me those word...once in a blue moon... so is that considered a baby step for me and a baby leap for you
You go twin friend!!! I probably would have said "sit down now and i'll make a cuppa"
Let him feel it and don't you feel bad about it. Has he cared what you feel? NO NO NO so why are we always so worried about their feelings? That one really bothers me...it's like they've lost all theirs...given them to us i guess as it feels like we now feel double of everything...are we trying to feel for them too? Sometimes i wonder?!?
You sound so sad! Hope you are okay....see the twin thing again....youre sad and i'm crying. Cheer up and think maybe this is a baby step for him to learn that you can't do this and expect good things in return like a huge fuss on your bday from your wife who you have been cheating on. I really wonder how they think they are thinking logically. I know that DB or DR says they are behaving like Aliens but could the damn mother ship come down and take them all away until they are somewhat normal again so that we don't have to continually keep getting hurt. I'd rather mine be gone than around upsetting me and making me think about things and him ....how much are they thinking about anything other than themselves....not even their children can snap them out of their selfishness.
Don't worry sister twin One day he will know what he lost...what goes around comes around...it just sucks that we are the ones that have to be hurt...it should only be them and their OP that should HAVE to feel pain.
Hope i vented enough for both of us and that it made you feel a bit better...snap out of it girl and don't let him drag you down just because he is now...be happy that he is finally feeling some pain for once (i know, vengeful aren't i?) Well you only get what you deserve when you hurt the ones that love you..
Quote: This year he will be lucky to get a present or a card from anyone. I will buy him something small from S9 but that is it. Maybe he will realise what he has lost?????DKD
I'm like you about birthdays... love to make a fuss. This year I did something small from the kids. But it was really thoughtful (not personal or emotional) and he was really grateful.
He'll notice the loss. He may not communicate it, but he'll feel it.
don't get it.....O.K. guys check in on you all tomorrow after you all have your fun overnight (hate the time difference) but hey I will have plenty of comments tomorrow. See ya all have a great night...DKD 
. Know exactly all the feelings you are having too. So get some comfort in knowing you are not ALONE we are here for you. 
