Kim....Think you should really really CUT off all communication with the OW! Don't think it does you any good. I think hellkat is right...don't trust what she says. The reason I say to stop communication is because if you do talk to her, even if you tell yourself that you are not gonna believe what she says, it still stirs your mind and makes you wonder high and low. So, the best is totally STOP communication with her. TEXT, PHONE, etc..STOP!! You are doing so well now..you don't want something that OW tells you to get to you and make you fall off the ladder...
Hi Guys well now for the update from hell......As I said earlier OW was messaging etc and Thursday night I tried to speak to H about my moving and what time he was going to be there and no he had no time for me because of his dramas with OW. Friday morning he turned up to help with the big move. I asked how things were with OW and he said not good she is all over the place and can't trust him. I said well you have to work it out. He said she had told him about messages and phone calls and I said yes that is true but she initiated contact and I haven't said very much to her and if he wants to know anything to ask as I have nothing to hide. He said No it's cool I have to just wait and see what happens. So we got on with moving things and then in the afternoon she rang him on his mobile and he disappeared for about 15 mins. When he came back I asked if it was sorted and he said no she is still really upset with him and can't get her head around the fact that he has been cheating on her with me. (Ha) Anyway he was very quiet the rest of the day and took S home with him that night and came back the next day to continue shifting. This went on much like this for the whole weekend. Upshot of it all I think H thinks he is really in love with OW and is very upset that she thinks she doesn't want him anymore. I wish he would feel that devastated over me. I figure that it is for them to sort out and told H I was there for him if he needed me but maybe it was best to keep his R with OW to himself as it doesn't really help anyone me knowing about it and makes things to difficult. I said he needs to live his life and I need to live mine and whatever will be will be. This hurts me no end but I think I have to get back to DBing all the way. Time to go slightly dark and GAL. I spoke to him this morning as he wanted to know how sorting out the unpacking was going and I said not all that great, that I was in a big mess and it would take me awhile to sort through everything but that I would get there with time. I then cut him off and said I would ring him later as I was busy. I won't though he can ring me again if he wants to speak. Time to not think about him and concentrate on getting my new place unpacked and set up and in order. It will take me the next 2 weeks but it will keep me busy. Like NYS says I can only control myself not H so that is what I am going to concentrate on now. I am going to resist H as much as possible. So Anna I am really taking my first step up that mountain. I did some major backsliding on the weekend and now I am ready to get up and get going again for my own sanity. Yes YoYo I am taking your advice and cutting OW out for good. Dear John you made me laugh as she really is like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction lucky I don't have a white rabbit I can tell you....Anyway guys here is to me DBing properly again...I still want my H but need to GAL first and if he is still there later well so be it....This site really helps in making you kick yourself in the ar$e and get going again so here is my foot up my behind and the start of who knows what.....Kim
Sounds like H and OW are really upping the drama! They're probably getting way too much charge out of this for anyone's good - remember passing notes in grade 8? You absolutely have to keep out of it, for your own sanity. Too much "he said, she said, she said".
The drama will burn itself out, so you really don't want to be anywhere near that fire. Definitely GAL and LRT. Reread the thoughts on the LRT in the newcomers forum. I always find that helps me centre myself for what I need to do.
Yup...I am sure you have your hands full...trying to make your new house your home... Forget about H for the time being. His dramas with the OW.... Go out shopping for your home... It must be really exciting..decorating your house to be a cosy home!! Myer...David Jones... MMMMmmmm I'll come and help you shop! ha ha ha!
Hey Yoyo not a problem shopping is always good but I must be ruthless and throw out all my crap first. I have decided over the next few weeks I am going to go through one room at a time and get rid of everything that does not serve a purpose or that has not been used in the last 6 months. This will be a new start for me and all H's things that are his own that I have no use for I am going to box and put in the garage. This way I can make a fresh start all the way around. I am going to set a couple of mini goals or short term goals. 1: Do not ask H how things are going with OW. 2: Be the one to end conversations with H, but nicely. 3: Start on cleansing the clutter in my house. (This is one that will be ongoing for awhile.
Yes I have checked in on your thread. Good for you now Dodger will have to find something else to tease you about...Hehehe.....Well yesterday was rather non eventful, spoke to H on phone but said I had to go as was busy and said I would speak to him later but I didn't ring him back I just left it. This morning he rang me to see how I went finishing off the cleaning of our old house. So I answered him and then he tells me that his next weekend off (he only has every 4th weekend off) he is working night shift so wont be able to have S. I asked him if he had thought of an alternative and he said no. I cracked it a bit as our S adores him and I said well glad to see where your priorities lie, he cracked it at this and just said look I've gotta go and I said O.K. see ya and hung up. I should be called YoYo, one minute I am acting detached and the next he says something and I am like a cat after a pigeon. Reacting which I know I shouldn't do but god they can be soooo selfish. My H only thinks of himself and anyone else 2nd it has always been like that always how things affect him 1st and god forbid if you show him up. I know I know I can only control myself not him. New 180 "DO NOT REACT". If I can not react at least until I get off the phone, then I don't give him a reason to dislike me and that way I am not adding to why OW is better than me. Is this the way I should be thinking I am finding it so hard at the moment. I think because I am exhausted from moving and have to work all day, go home do tea for kids, do dishes, organise school lunches and then unpack a bit and tidy and then go to bed and do it all again the next day and I know this weekend I will be cleaning out the Carport and shed and sorting it all out. Here I go nag nag nag, bit@hbit@hbit@h, listen to me what a misery guts. I should of stuck to Dodgers site that made me laugh, you know what I am going to go back and read it again as I am just downright depressing at the moment. I will come back when I am feeling more positive and cheerful. Fallen into a cave on the side of that mountain for a snooze girls - someone reach in and pull me out so I can start climbing again with the rest of the BGS.....
Yeap...At the rate that we go up and down, I think all of us should be called yoyo-something or roller-coaster-something...LOL
You know..think that it's something with the stars formation that is making most of us go haywire with our negative emotions. Hope the planets will realign to our favour soon... LOL (Btw, I am not an expert on astrology..just trying to pretend that I know something...)
O.K. O.K. the name change was because quite a while ago someone it may have been dearjohn or NYS said Desperate Kim sounded well Desperate and I have been thinking about it and thought they were right so I added dissolving as hopefully Desperate Kim is dissolving and becoming someone else so I will change my name again soon. I am open to ideas maybe F.I.U.I.M.I.(Faking It Until I Make It) or HopefulKim or KookyKim. Hey YoYo saw on Angelwings thread you have joined the BGS (Billy Goat Squad) and started up the Mountain with us. Good for you Anna123 is the leader and it's becoming a bit of a cult but it's pretty cool(LOL)
We all have our times that we feel crazy and like yoyo's. People always say that life is suppose to be fun and we need to live each day to its fullest but what is so hard is tht we are all going through so much right now that it makes us feels crazy. I see how you are and how you act like a friend to H about OW...I dont know how you do it but you do it well. I hope that you have a great night.
