O.K lets see from the start.... Friday night he picked me up and we went down the pub for a drink. We started by playing pool and then started talking. He told me that he really enjoyed being with me and felt we could work things out. I asked what he was going to do about OW and he said "look let's see how we go and I will do things my way with her" I said like what. He said I will make her ask me what is going on so I have an opening and then I will tell her. I said O.K. but how long and he said no more than a month. (A month get stu@@ed) Anyway played it cool and said I don't like the idea of being the OW myself and a month is a long time. He said you could never be the OW as you are my wife. I said still it's alot your asking. He said I know but it's our future. So I agreed. He stayed the night and then the next day we went to the Shopping Centre together and he was holding my hand all through our shopping. He took S9 home with him that night to stay and he knew I was going out. The next morning was the Father & Son Footy match so I met them there. We all then went home to have Bacon & Eggs for brunch and after him and I layed on the bed watching T.V just gently rubbing, tickling each other. It was nice....Anyway midway through the afternoon he said he better go as he had to get ready for the week ahead with work, so he said he would ring me tomorrow. I had also had a talk with him saying that I couldn't wait a month if he meant it he would do it within the next week or it meant he wasn't serious about us. I said do what you have to but I wont wait longer than that. He said he understood. I spoke to him Monday and asked if he had spoken to her or if he had spoken to her at all over the weekend and he said I told you I would do it my way but no I haven't spoken to her on the weekend and I think she now knows something is wrong. I said why and he said because I rang her before to see if I could see her afterwork to talk and she said she was too busy to talk to me, so I think she knows as she is not a stupid person. Anyway I spoke to him that night and yes I rang him and said just wanted to see how you were feeling and whether you ended up speaking to her. He was rather shitty and said NO she wont speak to me and he said she dropped something off at his van, knocked and walked away. He yelled out to her and asked if they could talk and she said No she had nothing to say. She was doing great DBing and I was being a fool. Anyway I spoke to him Tuesday and yes dumb me rang him but I think I was pushing him for a reason as I know its the wrong thing to do but was testing him and sure enough it was working as he was getting really pi$$ed of with me. Later that day or early evening I get a phone call from OW saying that she was sick of his lies, I could have him back and I said I knew that a week ago, which shocked her. She then said Look obviously alot more has been going on than I realised but he is begging me to give him another chance she said she now knew why. She said she wanted me to go to his place so he would have to say the truth in front of both of us. Dumbly I went. She asked heaps of questions and he wasn't very forthcoming with the answers and he was looking at me as if to say dont say the truth. I then said well who do you want? He said her and I said well I am not going to stop you but I am not going to protect you either. So I answered everything told her the lot and then left. She has been messaging my phone and ringing constantly telling me he is going to pay for what he has done to both of us and that she will string him along and then do him over. I said do what you think I am not interested in him or what happens. She is playing one hell of a game though. I think what she is doing is trying to make sure I stay not wanting him as I am her biggest threat but also so she can string him along and make him suffer and then give in to him when she is ready but that way she makes sure I am out of the picture and that he wants her more. Well he came and saw me at work today and said he wants to have a chat tonight so he can pick up S9 on Friday. I said is it worth us having a chat you have done nothing but lie to me and he said yes he thought so as he wanted to say things and after 12 years surely we could still speak. So I am seeing him tonight. I am so hurt by him and I know I can still get him back if I really want to but can I trust him, I don't know and why is it when he hurts me so bad I can only think about getting him to come back. This is so weird I should just want him out of my life but I still love him - stupid I know....Why are we such glutens for punishment???? Now I have to assess whether to just set him free and make myself never want him or whether to start all over again. I bet some of you could have guessed I would stuff this up. I should have just gone dark after Friday and waited to see. I probably could have had him if I had but then he may have just played us both I don't know. Guess I have some soul searching to do. I will wait and see what he says tonight I guess. So there you have it. If any of you can see something from all this that I can't go ahead and tell me....
