I actually used to think about them together and literally made myself vomit
Yeah been there. All ya can do is what your doen just stop those thoughts when they happen. I drove by where the OM lives the other day for the first time(I had to for work not snooping). I spent the rest of the day not feeling well and picturing them there together. In a way I think its ok to let these thoughts happen but ONLY for a short time,, say give yourself 20 min to think them through then STOP. Ussually after the given time I dont feel any better and can soon realize that thinking those thoughts at all is pointless,, just causes grief or anger. Which brings me back to the just STOP thinking those thoughts. Easy to say but it can be done with practice. It sounds like you have allreaddy figured this out as well but hopefully it helps to know others go through the same stuff. keep trying.
Hey Guys, See YoYo you are not the only one who thinks them but as we have told you it gets you nowhere when you do think that way so it's best to make yourself think of something else. Hey HELLKAT, thanks for that and I hope that doesn't happen with us. He has rung last night and today and we have decided to go out for drinks on Friday night to discuss our sitch. He doesn't overly like talking on the phone and says he prefers to speak in person. I said to him that I just wanted to know that he felt he was heading in the same direction as me and he said he thought he was. He maintains that Tuesday night had a big impact on him and that he wants to discuss where we go from here on Friday. I also asked him if he had told OW and he said no I want to speak to you b4 doing anything. I wanted to get an answer out of him then and there but didn't want to push him away. So I said O.K. as long as we are going to talk and be honest that is fine but remember this is my life you are playing with and he said I know and the last thing I want to do is muck you around lets just talk Friday and go from there. I said O.K. and he said he would ring me tonight. So at least he still wants to ring and I will have to be patient and get through tonight and all day tomorrow and then I will know more. I dont think I will be able to post any more until Tuesday as it is a public holiday here in Australia on Monday and I dont know if I will be near the computer. Will keep you updated a.s.a.p. Goodluck to you all with your own sitchs....Kim
Well guys here it is Friday and I have to wait another 4 hours before I see him and see what he is going to say. He has been saying on the phone that he wants to talk Friday night and giving all indications that he wants to work it out but I have only one question. What about the OW. There is no way I am going to work on our relationship if he is still seeing her. It is all or nothing I feel. I will let him speak first tonight and see what he is saying and then I will say in order for us to see what is happening with us she needs to be out of the picture as if you can't end it with her you truly do not want to give our relationship 100%. This may not be the right thing to do but I am going to say that anyhow. I won't be putting any other pressure on him I will be just saying there is no us until she is gone. I hate this waiting but 4 more hours and I might just be happy although I don't know. Do you think they can get rid of them like that????? Well it will tell me one way or the other as he is not truly trying to make it work unless she is gone. That will only confuse him more and if that pushes him away well that is something I will have to deal with. I am not going up and down all the time. It's fine when you are working at getting them to this point but when they are there I think then you can be honest. What do you all think????? Kim
Hey Russ, Thanks for the encouragement. So you agree that OW has to go???? That is not putting to much pressure on him???? I will not put any other demands on him just that before I will attempt at fixing us.....Is this right??? I am so nervous, I am also really worried that he has lead me up the garden path, not that he has said anything to validate this but you know have an affair lie about it, it is hard when nothing has gone my way so far. Anyway we will see tonight I just hope I handle it the right way, this is a real test. Thanks again but remember it is Friday downunder and a public holiday Monday so if I can get on the computer at home (kids hog it) I will let you all know tomorrow but otherwise it will be Tuesday.... Wish me luck.....Kim xxx
I'm posting now on a side note...based on my current sitch as of the last 12 hours ( on my thread ). Be careful with your H if you are being intimate.
My H currently has a viral infection (STD) and I spent my morning getting checked out ( It is something that a condom could not have prevented because you could get infected from the general genital area ). He's had signs for 2 weeks. Currently I have no signs, but the doctor says there is an incubation period. If I had the full blown visible signs, i wouldn't be able to have a regular birth but a C-section. So I still won't know my papsmear results for two weeks.
Please, just a warning...be careful. It's really hit home for me.
Thanks Glg I know where you are coming from and I hope that isn't the case but I can tell you we wont be doing that again until OW is gone. Once was enough I was weak and couldn't resist as it has always been good with us as he said and I didn't think it would hurt to remind him of how good things were and what he was missing but hey I will find out if it worked tonight. As for STD never had one neither has he and I wont be going there again until she is gone. Thanks though I will keep it in mind. So sorry for you though, I will read your thread and reply to that one....Kim
I am in very similar situation with my H. The OW works for his company in another state, but is his subordinate. Their jobs are on the line because of this. He travels all the time and has taken her to London and other places that I don't know about. Also has bought and received gifts, etc. He has moved out at my asking and is trying to pick between her and our family, what a jerk that it is even a decision. The OW has no loyalty to you, only him and has nothing to lose in the situation like you do, she can hang on and be perfect for him, but in the end he'll see the light. All I can say is that if he doesn't want you or your kids, do you really want him? What is the prize if you win anyhow? These are the questions that I've been trying to ask myself as I make my decision about my life, but I desperately want it to work too. I just harbor alot of resentment towards him for what he has done to our family.
Your story sounds very similar to mine. Did you just find out out your H's A? You sounded like I did about a month ago. Now? I am numb and detached! Am hanging on and waiting for the aliens to return my H's brain. LOL...doing this for him, us, for the kids and for myself.
