Thanks YoYo - To keep you updated he has rung me back and said she is working tonight and did I want to go around and give him that massage. I said I could but what if she turned up and he said he didnt think she would. I could hear the uncertainty in his voice but figure what the hell, I will go and see what happens but if he tries anything more I think I will stop it if I can and tell him he had better work himself out. Always trying to DB. It does make me wonder though as if he had no feelings for me he would not want this to happen but he did say on the weekend he has doubts so maybe this is the beginning, I will have to see. I worry that I may be doing the wrong thing but i think it is a trip I must take......
Kim - Ahem! Ahem! Make sure you can stop yourself ...otherwise you may end up over at the OW's place. LOL. WOW! Imagine if she caught you guys at it at HER place. That would be great, won't it? He he he...
I'm with yoyo for sure! Make some new memories for him in their bed. She deserves no less! Let's just hope you're "caught in bed... with your OWN husband! The scandal!!"
Hey guys O.K. b4 I tell you what happened last night let me just straighten something out. YoYo and Anna he isn't living with OW. He has a caravan in a caravan park and she doesn't live there so while it could still be scandal its not that big and I wouldn't shag in her bed - NO WAY. Russ thanks for the encouragement mate and I may have to change the heading but let's just wait and see....... O.K. HERES THE UPDATE. I went there last night to give him his massage (thinking that he probably had other ideas) and would you believe it I was shaking I was that nervous and a bit worried about confrontation if she unexpectantly turned up. He asked me why I was shaking and I told him so he said you shouldn't be this nervous I will fix it and ring her and say I am going out so you feel more at ease. He did this (now lying to her) and hung up, he wasn't on phone for long at all. We chatted for awhile and watched a show and T.V. and I then gave him his massage complete with massage oil and candles (he always loved my pampering) and was very careful about where I placed my hands but I could tell straight away that parts of his body had their own ideas if you get my drift. Anyway one thing did lead to another and we fell into our own familiarity. I tried to stop it by saying we shouldn't and he said well it is up to you but I know I want to so that was it I couldn't resist. The feelings of 11 years are hard to throw away. Anyway it was fabulous by the way and he made a few comments about how good things in that area are with me and how I know just what to do and nobody can make him feel like I do. I just said to him yes I know but remember we have grown together and know what each other likes and after 11 years so we should. He said Yes I know but I don't want tonight to end yet so lets have a shower and go out. So we did and I got home at 2am this morning. We had a nice time went out and had a few drinks, played pool and talked. He kept kissing me all night and said I can't believe this has happened but I am glad it has, and I just said You have alot of thinking to do over the next few days don't you. He said Yes I guess I do. When he dropped me home he said he would call me today. I have tried so hard not to ask him about where this leaves us now as I think it is something he has to decide for himself and I need to know that he has made that decision without pressure so I know he wants me as he can't live without me and that nobody else measures up to me, even in bed. (In his eyes anyway) So I guess now I put my DBing to the ultimate test when all I want is answers I am going to have to concentrate on not contacting him and waiting for him to ring me, not pressuring him although I will ask how he is feeling about things and has he been doing alot of thinking and if he says yes I will offer him support in the way of It must be hard but I am sure you will make the right decision in the end just be true to your own feelings. It's going to be really hard but I will tell him I am glad we had last night together as it was nice to enjoy each other's company again but until he sorts his own feelings out I will say that we should refrain from sex and stick to just going out when he wants to and if he needs to talk I am here for him. He did mention this Friday night we might get together as he has weekend off and even though he is meant to have our S he could have him Saturday night and they could both come back Sunday and he would spend some time at the house. So I will see if he mentions this when he rings me today.He also said Thanks for tonight I really enjoyed the time we have spent together and I am not just talking about the sex, I really enjoyed being with you tonight. I replied that I enjoyed our night too and had a really good time. So there you have it.....Is this too good to be true is there a fall coming am I going to backslide, I am so worried that I am going to get hurt again but I guess I will have to wait and see. Surely things aren't good with her or he wouldn't have said the things he said and he wouldn't have lied to her. Any advice on what tactics I use now would be appreciated.
WOW...what a night!! Think what you need to do is to continue with your DBing and NOT pressure him. You cannot expect him to suddenly decide to come home. Also, you wouldn't want to have any expectations because then you may get dissapointed if things don't turn out as you expected. Although deep down, you want him to COME home now, and ditch the OW, I think you shouldn't mention it at all...let him decide himself...
(I actually asked this question on my own thread..a NO NO but did you ever wonder if he thinks of the OW when ML to you?)
YoYo I am going to answer you honestly - yes I did wonder but you know what after last night I dont. I can't go into much detail on this site but he told me things last night that I know I am better than her. I give him different feelings when we are together and he has never experienced that with anyone else before me or with her now so no I think he probably thinks of me when he is with her. As for not pressuring him, I am not going to I thought I would be supportive to the decision he has to make but if he doesn't mention it then I wont for the moment. It will take all my DBing reserve but I am determined not to. I do understand what you mean about the OW being in their head but try not to think about it as it will only make you anxious so for your own sake wonder if you are in his head when he is with her but better still dont think about it if you can. When you catch yourself thinking that way think of something else. I do know what you mean though I actually used to think about them together and literally made myself vomit it bothered me that much and then I learnt I couldn't change it so why worry about it just concentrate on gettin him back and thats what I have tried to do and so far it is not too bad.
DK - I remember so well doing that w/my H - he had his own apt. 2 blks away so I know what your feeling!! and it was fun! I used to think about calling her on her cell while we were doing it and just laying it next to the bed so she could hear as I told him to say my name! hahahahahaha! but I never did.
But I do want to say to be careful, this turned into a once or twice a week thing for us. And while he was telling me all that I wanted to hear, and treating me as if he loved me again and it felt good to get a bit of revenge on OW you will find yourself caught up more then you may want to be. Remember as long as he can have his cake and eat it too.........he will.
over at the OW's place. LOL. WOW! Imagine if she caught you guys at it at HER place. That would be great, won't it? He he he...
I just said to him yes I know but remember we have grown together and know what each other likes and after 11 years so we should. He said Yes I know but I don't want tonight to end yet so lets have a shower and go out. So we did and I got home at 2am this morning. We had a nice time went out and had a few drinks, played pool and talked. He kept kissing me all night and said I can't believe this has happened but I am glad it has, and I just said You have alot of thinking to do over the next few days don't you. He said Yes I guess I do. When he dropped me home he said he would call me today. I have tried so hard not to ask him about where this leaves us now as I think it is something he has to decide for himself and I need to know that he has made that decision without pressure so I know he wants me as he can't live without me and that nobody else measures up to me, even in bed. (In his eyes anyway) So I guess now I put my DBing to the ultimate test when all I want is answers I am going to have to concentrate on not contacting him and waiting for him to ring me, not pressuring him although I will ask how he is feeling about things and has he been doing alot of thinking and if he says yes I will offer him support in the way of It must be hard but I am sure you will make the right decision in the end just be true to your own feelings. It's going to be really hard but I will tell him I am glad we had last night together as it was nice to enjoy each other's company again but until he sorts his own feelings out I will say that we should refrain from sex and stick to just going out when he wants to and if he needs to talk I am here for him. He did mention this Friday night we might get together as he has weekend off and even though he is meant to have our S he could have him Saturday night and they could both come back Sunday and he would spend some time at the house. So I will see if he mentions this when he rings me today.He also said Thanks for tonight I really enjoyed the time we have spent together and I am not just talking about the sex, I really enjoyed being with you tonight. I replied that I enjoyed our night too and had a really good time.
