Hi guys - Well he asked me yesterday to ring him last night when I got home from work to which I replied that I would. We had been discussing how tired he was from work and we had a bit of a routine with this. He would tell me from work that they were flat out and he was really busy and then when he got home I would run him a bath with candles, wash his back then leave him to his peace, he would come out I would give him a relaxation massage, then when we went to bed I would rub his head until he fell asleep. So I said to him "Well you know what used to help make you feel better" and he replied "Yes I know you were very good to me". I replied yes I think I was but really you should get your OW to do that for you, he sort of grunted and said "Yeah we'll see". Anyway I told him I had to go and would speak to him tonight and said goodbye and hung up. Well I didn't ring him until about 6.30 (had said it would be 5.15) and he said he was beginning to wonder if I was going to call at all. (I had thought about going around to give him a massage and then leaving just to put myself in his head and show him I had no hidden agenda (hahaha) and just leave as friends) This would also have showed him what a nice person I am and would you believe when we were on the phone he did say to me was I going to come around and give him a massage tonight to which I replied yes I was thinking of it but thought I would ring first and see if OW was expected. He replied that she was calling in when she finished work around 7 for a few hours. I told him it was good that I rang then wasn't it and he said yes it may have made things awkward. (I was spewing but didnt let him know). So we chatted for about half an hour and things went very well I then said look on Sunday after the Father, Son Footy match would you like to come back for Bacon & Egg Brunch(Knowing he loves it) and stay for a couple of hours at the house with us, we might watch a movie or something. He replied "Thanks he would like that very much". I did ask him how things were going with OW and he replied "Yeah O.K." in a very average tone. I said to him hey you dope this is still new and exciting you should be saying "Yeah good" in a sing song voice to which he replied Well we do have some things to sort out but it's o.k. I told him "Oh well hopefully you sort them out quick as you dont sound real happy and thats not good you have to enjoy life like me and not be so down" and he said "Yes well it seems you are very busy lately" and I said "Yes I am, but it's fun and I will slow down a bit when I am ready". Anyhow this is the kind of banter we are now sharing and I just wanted to say that it really seems to be making him stop and think and want to speak to me. I dont ring him or text message, I try to make it that he rings me or we make arrangements of when I am going to call, so it's like it's his idea, not me just ringing up out of the blue. It's amazing how he says they have things to sort out when they have only been open about their relationship for 3 weeks. It should still be fantastic. Apparently they don't see each other much just 2 nights a week overnight but thats it and have to see each other at work otherwise. I am gaining confidence and allow my husband to think things that just are not happening but it makes him curious and keeps me in his head, which I believe is a good thing. So fellow DBers keep it all up and surf this site as there is so much good advice around. I hope this gives some of you inspiration to keep working at it, I am not there yet but am still working towards it. Let's hope I dont crash & burn as everything that goes up must come down which is scary unless I've grown wings. Kim
