Hey Guys, Sorry I haven't responded but been busy this weekend. To all of you thanks for your honest replies it does help to hear other people opinions and experiences. NYSurvivor thanks you are right I am No1 choice that is a much better way of looking at it. I will think that way now. Hellkat - I am so sorry you took a bit of a backslide but there was a lot of positives. You both have a bond that doesn't seem to be able to be broken no matter how much he runs from it he still comes back which is a positive I guess it's how long do you wait but if you are thinking like me your marriage is the most important thing and you will do whatever it takes so stay focused. NOW FOR THE UPDATE.... Today is Monday and on Friday my H rang me to organise picking up S9. We discussed this and then I told him that our S was feeling rather distant and didn't really care if he saw his Dad or not. As this is a total backflip to the tears he has been crying until now I mentioned this to H who took it as a guilt trip I was laying on him instead of the way I intended which was so he could do some legwork and make son more comfortable. So I lost it and said you know what if you think that is a guilt trip and not meant as a protection and informative thing I have done then we have bigger problems than I thought. You are the one feeling guilty and that is your problem to deal with, take a look at yourself feeling like the victim when our son and myself were the original victims. I have done nothing but support you through this whole sitch and this is the thanks I get well you can get stuffed and if you want be to play the nasty wounded W I will. He then said he would discuss this when he picked up the kids and I told him to think hard about what he wanted to say as it might be his last chance as I didn't need the [censored]. He came over and I made him a coffee and he ate about 3 humble pies with his apologies. He claimed it shocked him and made him feel guilty and he lashed out at me about it. I told him whilst I understand this would have been a shock it was no reason to take it out on anyone and that he had to learn to deal with his feelings. We then chatted about this for about an hour and I then said look you will have to go as I am going out for dinner. He then wanted to know who with and I said none of your business. Amazingly he stayed for coffee when he dropped our S off and then Sunday when we were both watching our S at footy he asked if he could come back for a coffee before he went to work. Which he did. He then rang Sunday night from work to see how we were and to get someone's phone number. He is very curious as to how I spend my time and who with but in true DB form I smile and say it's none of his business but I am enjoying myself. He then wants to know if I have been having sex and I tell him that I dont ask how often he has it with OW so he shouldnt be asking me. (Mind you none since he told me about her) but he doesnt need to know that. We got along well on the weekend and he said he finds it hard spending time with me as he feels guilty all the time and I said well I am sure you do and you should but you do need to get over it as I have and move on. Apparently OW has been giving him a bit of a hard time about spending time with me as she feels I have a Hidden motive. (How true is that). I asked him what he said and he said that he didn't believe that and that we are good friends and he would like to keep it that way. I thought Yippee if she is putting pressure on him this quick then that might make my job alot easier as he still says he misses things with us and that he sometimes wonders if he has done the right thing. I just say well only you can answer that. So I think things are going quite well at the moment and I am planning and thinking all the time about how to get in his head and make him think of me without being in his face and I think it might be working. Dont know if this is right or not and alot of you a probably waiting for the fall but I am hoping it wont come. I am speaking to him tonight so will let you all know tomorrow how much further I have got if any. Goodluck to you all and please keep talking to me as you all give me such courage and strength.
