That makes me feel like I am 2nd best or 2nd choice
Kim, if my WAW came back to me, I wouldn't consider myself as her second choice. I was her first choice. The OM is the person who was her second choice. And, really, to someone vulnerable to having an affair such as the WAS is, as it could have been any number of people that could've been the OP, obviously all the contenders couldn't have been "first choice", right?
The WAS was attracted to you at one time because of many different qualities and traits of yours. The OP has a few different traits, but not all the things that attracted the WAS to you. The OP just has a difference enough, sometimes something opposite what you have, that attracts the WAS simply because the WAS is looking for something different.
Nothing in that is "first choice" material.
I believe thinking things such as "I don't want to be the second choice" is part of the negative thinking that causes more misery. Instead, shouldn't we be focusing on a positive and thinking instead, "I want to be the first choice!"
