Dear Kim - Your sitch does sound abit like mine. H's A is also with a co-worker. H always would say "OW told me to go back to the family". It's such a load of BullSh*t from these BAD women.
I am a bad practitioner in DBing as I kept doing what I am NOT supposed to do. So, all I am going to do is to offer you support and a shoulder to cry on.