Quote: listen, validate, empathize, be patient, treat the WAS well, GAL, give space, be gentle, change ourselves for the better, do not assign blame, wish the best for them, support them through their hard times, etc.
This is the ultimate goal. And for many of us, if we could have done this before there were problems in the R/M we wouldn't be here.
But, other than GAL, and changing ourselves for the better, it is a very self limiting goal. The WAS is the person we married for better of worse, we are sticking w/them through the worst, but are they anywhere around for us? (This tends to put me in selfish mode to expect that and of course, there are 'no expectations')
As I try to label and understand my ex's behaviors; it does gain me some insight to the whole problem. An example w/my s, if I didn't know he was delayed; my life would be much harder as the things that work w/a "normal" child do not work w/him. So I have had to let go of that expectations, and keep trying to find what works.
We can't let the MLC behavior take over our lives though. Therefore the efforts we put into our own lives have to benefit us and work on our own happiness and PMA.
I am rambling here and not debating or arguing the issue this morning. Whether our M dissolved due to MLC or constipation, it still happened. Our views of the current sitch may or may not help resolve the problems, but it can put our mind more at ease in our efforts. All I can hope for is to be able to move onto a happier place in my life, w/ or w/o ex. T
