Quote: how would we really show our WAS unconditional love w/o any ILY's? Is it possible to say 'I still love you' in a kind caring manner w/o applying any pressure that we want an R?
Can't apply the same principles to everyone. I love you may be what is needed to do a 180.
Yeah, I've said it. I said it Saturday night...looked in my ex-W's eyes and said I love you. She didn't say it back, but in some way we got to the point where I was asking..."don't you think you're lovable?" and affirming that she was in fact lovable. To which she said "then what took you so long to love me if I'm so lovable?" And I said "that was a hold-up in me. It didn't have anything to do with how lovable you are." Will saying it and the conversation help any? Doubtful. I probably set my self back with the pressure. Or then again, maybe it is something that will stick with her as I give her space over the next several weeks.
But for some situations where the person that left did so because they didn't ever hear I love you or feel the love, maybe that is the right answer. But I would bet in general, and T I think you are in this category, that saying ILY is too much pressure. You might be better served by being more hard to get rather than the pursuer. But none of our situations are exactly the same so I don't think we can necessarily say "it goes against DBing", because sometimes it may actually be what is needed.
Anyway, sorry no talk about sex.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
