UD,

Quote:

Now, given these issues, it is not clear to me that the WASs are making the most optimal decision by walking away based on cool rationalization. They are acting in panic mode. Which is what MLC is all about, a panic response brought on by fear and confusion



Knowing this may be of some comfort for you, but does it help you in your goal to reunite with WAW? Probably helps keep angriness and bitterness away, but will the insight bring her back? But as patient as you are I'm sure it is helpful in that it gives you at least a sense of how long you might have to wait. But if you look at it that way, is there something that a person can do to remove some of the built up burden so that they stop running? Or must they do it for themselves? BTW, if I had a flight reaction to say a rattlesnake or a bear, I wouldn't be coming back in their vacinity no matter how much they coaxed me, acted like they aren't dangerous, or put on lamb's clothing to fool me. I wouldn't even analyze my fear...I'd just recognize it and stay away. It's not the best analogy, but part of your wife's fear (and my wife's) is trusting you with her heart again. You're showing and saying "I'm not a rattlesnake" and she's thinking "yeah right...I remember the poison very well".

I don't know if Bruce was arguing against the existence of MLC. But I'm thinking he was saying..who cares what it's called..they left for whatever reason without regard for the family, they don't want back in, and if they couldn't hack it once maybe they can't again. Is that along the right lines Bruce? Or am I misstating your position?

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt