It's interesting that you bring up stress and the 'fight-or-flight' response, UD. Since W shared with me last not to not "assume the worst" with her, I've been rethinking me tendency to try to analyze or explain her behavior. If I try to simplify or label her, at some level, I'll be incorrect.
Although both men's and women's stress responses can be described by the flight-or-flight response pattern, new research suggests that women are more complex than that (figures, right? ), and may be better explained by a 'tend and befriend' pattern. Rather than adrenaline and other stress related hormones better explaining women's responses to things like kids, bills, career demands, a hormone called oxytocin (same one that helps milk be let down during breast-feeding) is at play, pulling a woman to seek out others for contact, reassurance, support.
Imagine if you would yet another biological difference b/t men and women, with male LBS wanting to quickly fix a problem with little discussion, even withdrawal, and the female WAS wanting to talk, rehash, connect.
I can think of many an occasion where I failed W in this regard.
Im sure there is lots of overlap b/t men and women. We're not truly separate Martian and Venutian species, yet the differences are there. And, likely, those very differences helped us to fall in love and be attracted to our WAS. In the long run, I'd imagine a happy middle-ground or flexibility will be needed to satisfy both parties.
My convo with W last night, including her "don't assume the worst" of her, was a loud reminder to me that, in this crucible of a sitch, this all boils down to the one key ingredient of unconditional love. We've got to feed and strengthen ourselves and love the WAS unconditionally for success. If we succeed, we'll be fed in return.
), and may be better explained by a 'tend and befriend' pattern. Rather than adrenaline and other stress related hormones better explaining women's responses to things like kids, bills, career demands, a hormone called oxytocin (same one that helps milk be let down during breast-feeding) is at play, pulling a woman to seek out others for contact, reassurance, support. 