Kidding. Clearly we are the most reasonable people we know. Oh.
In the case of trauma, psychosis, addiction there is substantial evidence to indicate and support people are often not "in their right mind" and have trouble with reasoning, decision making, reality and perception.
But in the case of the WAS where they make definitive decisions to withdraw physically and emotionally, move out, file for and pursure D to its conclusion, I do not perceive an individual who is "not in their right mind."
Clearly, as you indicate, we can control our actions and reactions and hope to alter the dynamic. Often as not, the change we hope for does not occur or as noted by many others, the changes are perceived as not permanent or too little. But inevitably, we can and must feel better about ourselves in order to feel better about a partner and a relationship.
