Excellent points about the importance of attitude, NYSurvivor and UD. I find it very hard to keep the unconditional love and PMA going without great self-care going as well.
Sounds like a break from the sitch for both of you is timely.
I like the reading suggestion re the MLC topic. I've just ordered it! IMHO - one to avoid: Understanding the Mid-Life Crisis by Peter O'Connor - far too Jungian/psychoanalytic/mumbo jumbo. I got a bit out of Women in Midlife Crisis by Conway but I need more info, as I'm still wrestling a bit with not enough compassion. I feel a bit what you feel Bruce regarding the WAS dropping the ball - perhaps I'm too responsible, practical.
I've been using the concept of the 180 to 'gift' myself with time for self-care, GAL stuff, as W still tries to guilt/control me into not doing it. I think she'd be much more comfortable with her decision or with me in general if I didn't show as much positive change or seem as attractive to a potential other as I now do. Try to keep your self-care up UD, during this busy time.
Also, regarding your parents. My father has communicated to W twice two things: 1) he forgives her for the D and 2) that he still loves her like a daughter. The first time he did so, she got p/o'd, as she took it as being judgmental. This last time (this week), she softened and warmed toward me - maybe it lighted some guilt or communicated that she'd be welcome back. Anyway, try to communicate to your parents how fragile your sitch is, and how necessary it is for them to merely be supportive to you rather than seeking to have their needs met (releasing anger, punishing, etc...)
