Thanks for your input. Hmm....your W's adoption of alternate couture is really interesting. definitely an MLC trait. I want to discuss something here to gain some perspective and make sure I am not bonkers. Also, you guys may want to provide feedback on how your W's have changed in their behaviors from pre-bomb.
After a long time of being completely at sea as to what happened to my W, I began to hone in on MLC as an explanation. I want to put down what I think were the triggers for this and also what the signs are that make me believe that she is going through it. So here goes.
Possible triggers of my W's MLC:
1. Death of her dad in Jan 2001. (He died young, mid-fifties from a slowly debilitating ailment that lasted 10 years). Her mom had a hysterectomy around that time as well. 2. Birth of child in July 2002. 3. New job in December 2002. Her feeling insecure about her intellect in her new job due to fact that most colleagues came from highly educated family backgrounds and ivy-league schools while her background was more modest. 4. Marriage in doldrum phase. Lots of stressors in the marriage including my work, illness in my family, her parents' ill-health and their poor financial condition requiring lots of help from us. 5. Lots of friends going through MLC.
The signs of MLC that I see in my W:
1. Extreme self-centeredness. 2. Frequent complaints of health problems (headaches, shortness of breath at one point, she actually had congestive heart failure at point (in 2004), fatigue and lack of sleep). 3. Preoccupation with her looks and body. She started spending a fortune around 2-3 years ago on cosmetics. 4. Spends a lot of time at happy hours with colleagues. 5. Spends money like it is going out of style. On clothes (younger fashions), eating out, hair redo (changed style to younger look, like one of those females on Friends, recently with blonde streaks in hair). 6. Extreme pre-occupation with diet and weight. 7. Looks like she has aged a lot in the past couple of years, and despite exercising does not look as fit as she did. 8. Much more irritable, particularly with me, but also with her mom, slightly less so with D3. 9. Focuses all conversations on herself. If I say something positive about my life, she will immediately counteract with cool goings on in hers. 10. Has cut off contact with past good friends after declaring she has nothing in common with them. 11. Changes in diet from almost purely vegetarian to meat-based. 12. Lot of questioning of values (particularly pertaining to marriage). Lots of questioning of past/present relationships, even with her own family. 13. Extreme oscillations in her moods, almost on a day-to-day basis, or at best week-to-week.
I don't know if I am misreading her or not. Seems to me like an MLC, but who knows?
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
