Two things: First of all I think you've assumed that since she hasn't mentioned D that she wasn't proceeding that way. You may recall that despite all the good interactions with my W that she still kept shocking me by going full steam ahead with the D. It's hard to say whether your W abandoned thoughts of D.
Secondly, I guess the refinancing sounds more symbolic than anything. To you it's a sign of dismantling the marriage, to her it's just practical. I also think it's practical if feasible. This is someone who is willing to create a single parent home for your child. The name on the mortgage seems really insignificant in comparison. Agreeing to refinance and take her name off is not going to make it any more likely that you'll get divorced. I say just agree to it.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
