Hi All:

I need your advice on something important:

This weekend my W asked me to see about refinancing the house. I live there now (since she moved out) but it is still in both our names. I am paying the mortgage on it however. I have been planning on refinancing it myself anyway just to take advantage of low interest rates. Now, I did not relaize that she wanted me to do the refinancing as a first step towards D!! So, I went in this morning to the bank and got the refinancing procedures started. That required her paycheck for last month. I called her back to let her know what the refinancing involves and to let her know what I need from her. So here is the problem:

She said she thought I would refinance it to be solely in my name. So she wants me to start the process of deconstructing the M! I dont want to take any steps myself in that direction. Recall that she promised me D on May 22 and has not followed through (as yet and as far as I know) with paperwork.

So, on the phone I was stymied. Did not know what to say. So I just said "well, I would go ahead and do this for now and later when things changed we can just do the whole deed in my name". She seemed to go along with that (at least in that phone call). I dont know what the next day or two will bring....

Anyway, here is my dilemma:
If I have her on the lease under the proviso that we can split the assets later then I would be applying pressure, would I not? On the other hand, if I get the mortgage into my name now then it is like I am casting the first salvo on deconstructing the M and my stand is that I do not want a D.

I dont know what to do. Any input is appreciated.

UD

The 3 laws of DBing: 1. PMA is critical to DBing. 2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical. 3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.