There has been a lull in the activity after the weekend (the calm before the storm?). Anyway, havent seen much of W in the past couple of days. Her behavior has not changed over the past couple of days. She is being nice to me and there is still an increase/status-quo on the physical comfort deal.
I am making steady progress on asserting independence. And continuing with zero pressure. I dont know, I feel like this week will be a critical one as far as the D filing goes. We will see how our experiment of using PMA as a weapon against D goes.
I would like to broadcast an email exchange today between my W and I and would like to get any input from your perspicacious DBers on what you think she is saying here:
MY MESSAGE TO W: ----------------------------------------------------------- Hey:
I tried calling you this afternoon but could not get hold of you. Just wanted to let you know I went today during lunchtime and replaced my cell phone. I did not realize until I was about to sign the acceptance contract that we were on a family share plan. Anyway, I just left it as it was. I did not know what to do with it. Let me know if you suffer any monetary encumbrances due to this and I will reimburse you for the same. Thanks,
UD ------------------------------------------------------- HER REPLY: ------------------------------------------------------- Gosh, in this e-mail you sound like the lawyer -- I wish you wouldn't be so formal with me about this stuff.
I'm not sure what to do about the phone. I actually went today to trade mine but I couldn't do it because I was on your account and I need your signature. I don't really care about what plan I'm on, but I don't want you to have to pay my bill each month. It is currently around $200 per month for both of us, and that is too much, so I think we need to see whether we can get a different (less expensive) plan, and I'd like for us to be billed separately. You have been paying some expensive bills of mine each month, like the cell phone and my student loans, and I think it is only fair that I take some of that off of you.
Anyway, I have a form you can fill out to transfer my account, or we can go to the Verizon place together and take care of it sometime. But whatever we do, it should be soon because my cell phone is toast.
See you later. ----------------------------------------------------------
I dont know, I have analyzed this to death (yeah, right, I am detached from the situation) already. But would like to get any take from anybody who would want to waste their time on it.
BTW, a friend of mine who is not on the bb but went through a divorce+reconciliation scenario sent this to me:
----------------------------------------------------------- I am currently reading a book 'The earth of mankind' by an Indonesian author Pramoedya Ananta Toer. Here is a paragraph I came across that made me think of us.
"What I was feeling then, such very depressed feelings, my ancestors called nelangsa- feeling completely alone, still living among one's fellows but no longer the same; the heat of the sun is borne by all, but the heat of one's heart if borne alone. The only way to obtain relief was communion with the hearts of those of a similar fate, similar values, similar ties, with the same burden. I felt as if all things joyous had been eliminated from my heart." ---------------------------------------------------------- Now, clearly the author is not familiar with DBing or with maintaining a PMA (him not having access to Gabriel's posts and all) . But I thought this is where many of us find ourselves sometimes?
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
. But I thought this is where many of us find ourselves sometimes?