Yes, Deida was a major eye-opener for me. It is interesting that for years I had become an emasculated nice-guy to my wife. I thought that was the way the 90's man is supposed to be. All crap! That is not what my W wants- proof being the state in which our R is. What happened was that my W began seeing me as a weak, yes-man who does not haev a mind of his own. Somebody who depended on her to make him happy. This made her ratchet up the masculine aspects of herself - i.e. focus on career, gettign more serious, etc. My W actually is a very feminine woman (all the pluses and minuses that come with it). I realized that this "sexually neutral" dynamic had depolarized us and made our relationship damp and lifeless. Deida has it right. It is amazing how forthright he is about it and in hindsight it makes perfect sense to me. I have read "Superior Man" and "Intimate Communion". In the latter he talks about how the 50-50 arrangements in relationships makes marriage dull and lifeless. You know, in particular, in academic type circles, this 50-50 partnership gets held up as ideal. All a load of crap if you ask me. Men and women deep down are the same, whether they can do calculus or figure out Greek history or not.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
