I felt my declaration of a long post on my previous thread title may have dampened enthusiasm to peruse my thread. So here is a more pro-active one. My WAW (separated for 2 years) declared that she sees no recourse but to D and has promised to file in the next few weeks (in June she said). I gave her the recommended "I am not in favor of this but if it makes you happy then I cant stop you" spiel. So, here are my goals in the current state:
0. Act happy, Be happy.
1. Move on in every single way. Apply zero pressure. Do nothing R-wise. Stay still and calm.
2. Be extremely friendly with W at every contact, be upbeat and positive.
3. Continue to pursue GAL activities (training for marathon, tennis, reading, spending time with D3, travel for pleasure- will go see friends). Spruce up wardrobe and look well-put-together.
4. Act as if D is not happening or if it is I am fine with it.
5. Get a lot of sleep and be well rested.
6. get in touch with good friends and enjoy their company, both in person and on telephone.
7. Keep a high profile and goal-oriented at work.
8. Need to add some intrigue (no idea how).
In short, act and feel like the sun shines out of my posterior.
I think most of these are self-work goals. They will stand me in good stad no matter what happens. That should be the only reason to do them. However, I am curious if WAW will go ahead and file anyway even if I appear to have reached nirvana?
Anyway, apropos of Gabriel exhorting me repeatedly to wrestle with whether I want an R with my WAW or the M, I have mulled this over and here it is:
1. I will continue to GAL and be absolutely blissful, living in each moment and enjoying it with Zen-like fulfilment.
2. I will be develop friendliness and unconditionally loving with my WAW.
3. I will be the darnedest best dad my D3 could ever have. This one I dont need to work on. Done.
4. I will seek to make WAW physically comfortable with me.
5. Be an excellent, attentive listener and make eye contact.
6. Have comfortable, confident body language with her always so she does not feel like she has power over me. Keep strong voice.
I have already implemented some of these changes over the last week and I am going to make every effort to keep it up.
I invite any comments and suggestions on this new, imroved, 13.6% more for your money UD.
Thanks all.
UD
Last edited by UD; 06/01/0508:18 PM.
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
