Difficult to move on and work on my marriage

[sage]

I'm the type of person who thinks in terms of "fairness". Not to the point of an eye for an eye, but more in terms of effort. I feel like I'm having to put the most effort into this relationship. All he has to do is work on making those positive changes that we've talked about, changes about himself and our relationship. But for me, not only do I need to work on those changes to help make us work, but I also have to struggle with the betrayal.

Wow. This completely resonated with me. One of the things I really struggled with early on was the lack of "fairness" in the sitch -- not only in the recovery process but in the overall situation -- like, how could such an unfair and bad thing happen when I've been playing by the rules all alond?

Sage