Pipeliners_wife, thank you for your suggestions and for the link. After posting I'm going to take a look at the site. You stated:
Quote: The most important question you have to ask your self, is this all worth it. Forgiveness will come in time.
Sometimes, when I'm sadder than usual, or down on myself, I honestly think that it isn't worth it. I'm the type of person who thinks in terms of "fairness". Not to the point of an eye for an eye, but more in terms of effort. I feel like I'm having to put the most effort into this relationship. All he has to do is work on making those positive changes that we've talked about, changes about himself and our relationship. But for me, not only do I need to work on those changes to help make us work, but I also have to struggle with the betrayal.
I will say however, at least 90% of the time, I truly believe the struggle is worth it, that our relationship is worth it. It's that other 10% of the time that I'd like to get rid of!
NYsurvivor:
Quote: Well I got confused then when reading originally: "I find myself asking the usual questions... 'was she prettier'".
I completely apologize, that was poor communication on my part. What I meant, when I stated that I find myself asking the questions, was more that I wonder and I compare myself to her. He's answered those questions for me, but that bit of doubt I still have surrounding his honesty begins to creep in, and I start wondering if he didn't answer some of the questions so as not to hurt my feelings.
Quote: Do his action nowadays create doubt as to his honesty?
The majority of the time, they don't create doubt. He's been working on rebuilding my trust in him in many ways, but (there's always a "but" isn't there!! ) then I start to think that maybe he's working so hard because he's hiding something. I don't want to be hurt again, so I find myself being suspicious when in the past I wouldn't give it a second thought.
Quote: Check and see if there are mental health clinics in your area that offer professional help at a income based sliding scale rate. If not, see if a local medical teaching university offers a clinic.
Definitely doing this today!! I've never really needed to look into ways to receive counseling, so I hadn't a clue that there might be clinics and such out there. Thank you for the suggestion!
Thank you again, Pipeliners_wife and NYsurvivor!! Even just sharing how I feel on here, and receiving feedback and support has been therapeutic for me.
) then I start to think that maybe he's working so hard because he's hiding something. I don't want to be hurt again, so I find myself being suspicious when in the past I wouldn't give it a second thought.