Quote: Kimiko, it all starts with what you choose to think about. If you dwell on the past, the past will dwell in you.
I honestly set out each morning thinking about our future, and the good things we've accomplished. I don't dwell...but it's just moments in time, especially at night, just before bed...when my mind does a 180 on me and starts thinking about the past. I guess I wonder, if that will ever stop, or even just slowly fade.....I guess I just wish I had some short term memory loss!!
Quote: Are there questions that haunt you? Then schedule an hour a week with your H where you can ask questions and tell him you need to shatter all the walls that existed from the affair so that you can have peace of mind.
Be warned, some answers you may not want to hear, and may hurt you or haunt you for some time.
I've asked all the questions of him, and I believe he's answered them honestly. Some of his answers hurt, other answers brought us closer together. Most of what I think about is the doubt, the "what if he isn't telling me the truth"? Sometimes the fact that he lied to me and cheated on me adds to the idea that he may be lying now.
Add to this that he shared a picture of her with me, (at my request, I wanted to know what she looked like) and from this picture starts the images of them together. I almost wish he didn't have a picture of her to share.
Quote: why not schedule time with a MC
Excellent suggestion. This is something I had planned on doing, but budget-wise, we just can't afford it right now. I recently had to buy some plane tickets at $1000 each (3 of them) and we have an upcoming family vacation that we all really really need. (honestly, you aren't doing too badly in the counseling area yourself...I've read many threads with your posts, and I find that you always take an impartial yet fair view of a situation, and I appreciate that)
Thanks again, NYsurvivor! I'm going to focus my energy on thinking about our current relationship and our future! I'll have to find something to punish myself with, everytime I think about the past. (joke of course...however, I suppose I could deprive myself of ice cream or something!!!)
