As my subject line states.....I'm finding it very difficult to move past my husband's affair and focus on our marriage.

My story:

I originally posted in the "newcomers" board, so I apologize if this is a repeat read for anyone.

** I'm a non-abbreviation user as well, sorry if that makes for longer reading as well!! **

I am 32 years old, and my husband is 33 years old. We have a 3 year old son (soon to be 4!). We've been married almost 8 years. May 3rd, 2005, I found out that he had been cheating on me with a girl (24 years old) from work. After confronting him, he admitted the affair, but immediately apologized and asked for forgiveness. He never once chose her, instead he ended it with her over the phone, as I sat with him and listened. Since then however, while he still works with her, he tells me they talk very little, and when they do, they talk about work. Just a week after they "broke up", she told him that she was seeing someone new in the office. The same day she told my husband, he immediately told me that evening. I asked him how he felt, and he said he was happy and that what they did was a huge mistake to begin with.

Now, I'd just like to add.... while my story sounds short and simple, it was a bit more complicated, but for the sake of not typing to the point that readers fall asleep, I figured I'd just get to the point.

So now to where we are now. We're working on our relationship, while we haven't gone to any "official" counseling, we've been very open about how we feel, why he feels he cheated, what he needs from me, what I need from him, how we've changed, etc..... We've read and worked through some relationship books, and read the Five Love Languages together. We've both made some baby steps and some leaps regarding areas we need to work on, and things we'd each like the other to do for us.


But..........

I just can't seem to get over the cheating.

I find myself asking the usual questions... "was she prettier, was she smarter, was she funnier".. and then my thoughts move to picturing them together, hugging, laughing, kissing, holding each other....

For anyone out there who had a spouse cheat on them....how did you move past the anger, resentment, pain...and finally get to where you could honestly just focus on the relationship you're trying to save?