My heart goes out to you, JV... I am so sorry to hear that you and your H did not spend the time together last night that you had hoped for... Do you ever journal? The reason I ask is that I have found journaling to be very helpful for me during this difficult time... IMHO, it may be a good idea for you to do so for yourself. If it does interest you, try writing out the following questions in your journal, if not simply answering them in your head or out loud may be useful as well... 1). Did you love your H when you first got married? 2). Why did you get married? 3). Do you love him now? 4). Why are you still married? 5). How do you and your H get along? 6). What do you have in common? 7). What do you like most about him? 8). What do you like least about him? 9). How does he treat you? 10). How would you like to be treated? 11). How do you treat him? 12). When were the two of you the happiest in your relationship and why? 13). Are you happy in your relationship now? 14). What would you like to change/improve in your relationship? 15). Do you think this change is possible? Why? 16). What have you done personally to try to make your relationship better? 17). What are your greatest fears about staying married? 18). What are your greatest fears about seperating/divorcing? 19). Do you have any children? Do they play a role in your choice? 20). Overall, what does your gut/intuition tell you to do about your marriage?
By the way, I wrote down each and every question here in my personal journal. Some of the questions were hard for me to answer, but I found that many of my answers were not what I expected them to be.
Here are some more questions for you to think about... 1). How do you feel about your relationship/partner? 2). What do you want in your relationship with your husband? 3). How do you feel about being alone? 4). What do you fear can happen if you decide to stay in your marriage? 5). What do you fear can happen if you decide to leave your marriage? 6).Overall, what is your greatest future fear of your marriage?
JV... I wrote these questions down from a very helpful book that I read not too lomg ago called: "Conscious Divorce" (ending a marriage with integrity: A practical and spiritual guide for moving on)... For me, answering all of the questions was hard for me to do, however; I felt that it was important for me to do so in a honnest manner.
As I said before, I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time with your H right now. My counselor has helped me a great deal in trying to see all of the positives that I do have in my life. I want you to try to do this... Each night before you go to bed, think or say aloud all you have to be grateful for. Taking the time to feel grateful for what you do have will stop you from thinking so much about what you don't have. Your gratitude will bring in more joy and the positive energy to take action.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers... Please know that there are people who care and that are here for you... Take good care of yourself... -KIM
