Great for you! I would try real hard to get away. A day or two would do you wonders JV. Maybe check into a nice hotel that has a pool. And just relax and think of you for the whole weekend. Don't even tell him where you are going. Let him stew and think for awhile. I think it will be a great 180 on your part. It may show him that you are a strong woman who is tired and worn down from the stress he has put you under. Maybe at the most just leave him a letter and let him know you wanted to get away for awhile because you needed to think and unwind.
Quote: I would love to set some boundaries in this R, but I can just hear H saying, "It's nice how I work and make the money around here, but I can't do things my way." No matter how reasonable I try to be, H never sticks to any agreement. Just like when we made the poker night compromise. He couldn't stick to it for even that first week
JV that is how he controls you. He is the kind of guy that holds it over the woman's head that she is only a SAHM and he has to work to earn the money and blah blah blah. Meanwhile without you he wouldn't have his clothes washed or his children taken care of you or his bills paid and the million other things you do I'm sure. He would pay someone a fortune to do the things you do. His saying these things is selfish and controling!
Quote: The kids are another thing. I love them to death, but I really could use a break. I mean for like a week and not just a day or two. That's impossible though because although H isn't working, he would NEVER agree to it, and I certainly can't ask my parents or MIL to watch them for that long. They work.
That is pretty sad he would never agree to it. This shouldn't even be something he has to be asked. Those ARE his children and his responsibility. What would happen if he just woke up in the morning and there were his children needing to be taken care of and there was only him?
Quote: God forbid I should be allowed to leave the house and do anything without him because then he will panic and question my every move. For someone who didn't want this life with me, H sure seems to feel safe and secure knowing that I'm always home for him.
Again just another controlling habit of his. To make you miserable and question you. To make it where you will only be at home right where he wants you. Maybe he questions you because he is afraid you may do the same thing he has done or is still doing.
Don't let him drag you down. Try to do something positive for you everyday. When he is out don't even call him. Try to go about your day without having any interaction with him at all. If he iniatiates making love maybe you could tell him your afraid you might get frostbite with the chill he claims is in the air. I know thats mean. But he says these things. Why not use what he says against him and show him for once that it hurts.
Also I would call about that counseling and see when you could get in. Tell him if he has a problem with it you will get a job to pay for it and ask him what hours he thinks he could watch the kid's so you can work.
