JV you do need to start thinking about yourself. Also I feel you need to start standing up for youself and putting your boundaries out there.
One thing I have learned is that when you say something you have to stand behind what you say. Otherwise spouses tend to just think well she said it but don't mean it. Like I saw you post your husband had an affair before this one. You told him never again. Maybe that is part of his confusion is because he did do it again. Who knows maybe intentionaly because he is going through some weird thing right now like maybe a mid life crisis.
My grandfather cheated during his marriage many times. He lost a lot of the families respect. My grandma got tired of it and finally left him. When he was asked how come he cheated on her not once but many times....he said because I knew I could and still come home. he stated he knew how to work her. Smooth it all over and be nice and appologize. My grandfather remarried and go figure he never cheated on his 2nd wife once. Because he knew she would not tolerate it and stood behind what she said 100%. He made a comment that his wife respected herself so much that she would not allow that to happen and he would lose his chance at her love.
To me it almost sounded like married men can start losing their respect for their wife because they tolerated this or just act like all is okay.
It just makes me wonder why your husband is still feeling so guilty from an emotional affair. You have stated you forgave him and told him you want to move on. But he keeps drinking and bringing it up. Do you think there could be something more or something that is continuing? How did he act when he did this to you before. Did you tell him you forgave him and then the two of you were able to move on?
But JV do start thinking about you. Don't be so consumed by him or his actions. Distance yourself from this emotional rollercoaster that he is putting you on. Get a babysitter for the weekend if you can and maybe go out for the whole weekend. Rent a hotel room maybe and just chill out. Maybe the last resort you can try is to show him what it will be like without you and the kid's. Tell him that you are giving him what he wants if he notices the changes in youDon'tcall him and don't take his phone calls when you are out. Let him sit and wonder where JV is and what she is doing and why her phone is off. Be selfish yourself for once and just think about you and what you need. This has to be taking a toll on you.
