Please make sure you both agree that the 5,000 is it. Unfortunately, when that is gone I have a feeling he's going to want more. It just seems to be the nature of the addiction. I bet there are support groups for family members of gamblers too--along the lines of Alanon. Probably on-line too. It will help to talk with others who are going through what you are going through. And you can find more tools to help you cope. Do you think you can get a separate savings account in your name to protect some of the money? Not necessarily in secret, but maybe with his agreement? Maybe if he takes 5,000 to gamble he will agree that you can take 5,000 and put it in a savings account or invest some other way. Just a thought.

Even though it may not be the best idea to have him take that money to gamble, I bet he probably really appreciates your trust in letting him know it's ok with you. I suppose there has to be some ground rules to go along with this though. This could be a convo with a C too.

Make sure you take care of you Sun. When he is out try to get some plans of your own. I know you have the kids, but sounds like you could afford a sitter or maybe a family member could help out. I think H should stay with them once in a while too so you can go out and have a little fun time yourself.

Many years ago when I was married to my first H, I went to a C and talked about how lonely I was, that he didn't spent time with me, that I wanted to do things together, etc. The C asked me if there were other ways I could get those needs met. At the time I thought it was a dumb question--what was I supposed to do, find another man? But now I understand what he was trying to get me to understand. I can do other things to get my needs met. I don't need H to do it for me all the time--that puts a lot of pressure on him anyway. If I've got something I can really concentrate on or really have fun doing, I'm less likely to be thinking about H and being lonely for him.

I'm hoping the best for you Sun--I know you've been working hard and waiting a long time.