Thank you, mollie. It very much helped. It's just so difficult to see H this way. Like you, I've never seen my H this bad. He has had drinks in the past, but H never drank then the way he does now. It's almost a daily thing over here now.

I'm not thrilled about the poker playing either. It is a problem, and I think he plays so much just so he doesn't have to be home. He actually did tell me something like that. I guess it's an escape for him.

In our convo yesterday about H playing professionally, he said he'd like to take $5K and use that as his bankroll. We have 6-figures in the bank, but $5K is still a LOT to me. H said if he were to drop that amount then he'd call it quits......Should I tell him to go ahead, do it, and give him my support although it's not what I feel is right? I just think if I gave H the green light (geez -- do I sound controlling or what? ) then he'd go out every night to play. When night would fall, he'll be ready to go, I might ask why he has to go again (let's say for the 5th night in a row), then H might say to me, "Well, I gotta go try to make money, JV." I would know that he was right, but I would feel like asking, "What about me? When do I get to sleep with my H by my side again?"

I know I can't control anything. Whatever happens, happens. If he wants to do the poker thing, then alright. If he wants to drink, then ok. It does all fall on the unconditional love list.

I know he is really trying to be better in our R, and I'm glad about that.

I'll try the Al-Anon site. I don't know if I'd be able to go to an actual meeting, with the kids and all.

Thanks again, mollie. I'm grateful for your input.

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage